Growing up as an only child whose mother considers one layer of mascara a full face of makeup, you can say I am far om a makeup expert. I have dedicated countless hours to watching YouTube tutorials, but have not yet grasped the difference between a bronzer brush and a blush brush (still can't believe these are two different things). Makeup has become this enormous monster that I dread to face in the morning, making me usually choose the extra 30 minutes of sleep over flawless skin. However, for those few special occasions where I choose to look into the makeup mirror and my scrappy collection of cheap brands, these are the struggles I encounter.
1. Being called an "unblended clown."
This affectionate term was coined by my best friend, Nancy and sadly, it fits the description of my foundation skills to a T.
2. Walking out of the house with your face and neck in two different colors.
Or even worse, trying to blend it into your neck and then it starts to look all splotchy. Basically, it's a lose-lose situation.
3. Shaking too much to even attempt eyeliner.
The pressure to have the perfect wing makes me shake. The shaking causes me to mess up the eyeliner, and the messed up eyeliner causes me to stress all over again.
4. My eyeliner is uneven, now what?
I could try to fix it, or I can ignore it and try not to bother my OCD friends too much.
5. Rubbing your face half way through the day and experiencing a true moment of fear that you look like this.
I was trying to go for the "slept in" look.
6. Seeing that your eyelashes are clumpy and being too lazy to redo it.
Do I have spider eyelashes? Yes. But is fixing it too much to handle? Also, yes.
7. And what is this magic that some girls are able to perform on their eyebrows?
I can't even begin to understand the intricacy of it.
8. Running out of makeup wipes so instead choose to scrub it off with paper towels or just going to sleep with a full face of makeup (my usual).
It is as painful as it looks in this gif. So, personally, I would rather just deal with it in the morning.
9. Not understanding half of the makeup terms that your friends try to explain to you.
What is a beauty blender? A green correcting concealer? A highlighter? It's all Greek to me.
10. Never attempting to use an eyelash curler and constantly living in fear of this creepy tool.
Don't pretend like you don't get nervous that it will cut off all of your eyelashes, because it's certainly a fear of mine.
11. Looking at contouring and strobing makeup tutorials and not understanding it.
They must have skipped some steps, right? I can't do this in two minutes flat, and I'm pretty sure no one can.
12. Also all the new makeup trends go right over your head.
What is she doing with tape?
13. Trying to get through the whole day without makeup sliding down your face.
Before (excuse the duck face):
After (in that classic New Orleans rain):
I'm pretty sure primer is the solution to this problem, but it's about $13 a bottle and as a starving college student, I do not have the money to buy a product I do not even understand.
