Sometimes it seems like Proctor has it all: panini machines, a great location on the way to and from the gym, the best hot breakfast on campus, a homey atmosphere and 4 O'clock snacks. Other times, Proctor turns into a mob scene with people scavenging for utensils and seats during rush hour. No matter what your feelings toward the dining hall, those who choose to dine in Proc inevitably experience certain fundamental moments that simply don't seem to happen anywhere else. Below is a progression of thirteen experiences, any or all of which could happen within a given meal at the one and only Proc Dining.
1. You make it up the hill from the gym feeling strong after your lift but the door is made of solid steel so you still can't open it.
2. You're wearing a winter coat and it's snowing outside, but as soon as you walk in you're hit by a wave of heat and feel like you're in the middle of the desert.
3. You grab a plate and casually snack while you wait in line when somebody from class tries to talk to you.
4. You finally get to the front of the line but realize that you really wanted a panini all along.
5. You walk into the table area, but there are no open seats so you stand awkwardly in the entrance and feel like suddenly you're starring in some high school play as everyone eating turns to watch.
6. As you look directionless and confused, your Proctor Crush whisks by and accidentally brushes against your plate and you watch in horror as some ketchup from your plate gets on the back of their shirt.
7. You finally find a seat at the end of a long table only to realize you accidentally crashed a sports team dinner (or drinner).
8. You scour the dining hall to find a salt shaker, but the only one you can find is in the middle of a circle table with people from a group project that hasn't been going very well so you decide it's not worth it.
9. As you finally start to eat your meal, someone plugs their phone into the aux cord to DJ and your 5 o'clock dinner suddenly turns into Atwater at 2 a.m.
10. You get up to get more food, but get caught up in an SYT asking and try to stay out of the way but end up incorporating yourself into the spectacle.
11. You just want some Honey Nut Tasteos, but all the Proctor bowls are in foreign countries so you have to use a cup.
12. You finish your meal and go to put your dishes away, but drop your spoon into the bin too aggressively and end up getting some of the dirty soapy water in your eye.
13. With a stinging eye and cloudy vision, you blindly stumble back out into the snow.
