1. There are ten million pictures of just you, all over your house.
Including several large embarrassing pictures that your family probably refuses to take down. (See examples A, B, and C above)
2. Imagination is a survival skill.
However your overactive imagination will probably scare people. Example A: "If I need saving on this date, will you call and help me out?" "Oh yeah! I can call and say that we went ghost hunting but we hit a deer, rolled off the side of the mountain, and now we're going to the ER!" How was I supposed to know you just wanted me to say my car broke down on the highway?
3. Slow eating is a way of life.
What could take someone 7 minutes to eat, will probably take me 20. I have never had to worry about there not being seconds. (See also #4)
4. You know that being alone is sacred and wonderful.
I really have no idea why people have to be around someone else all the time.
5. People asking for/taking food off your plate freaks you out.
No, you cannot have one of my chicken nuggets. I got this many for a reason, I will eat them all.
6. There is this thing called sharing in the real world.
Sharing is not caring. Sharing is a scary thing to us hoodlums only children.
7. You secretly want a big family so that your children won't be lonely like you were.
It's no secret in my sorority that I'm little crazy (I might be done taking them when I have 19), but I also want multiple real children in real life, so they never feel like they're alone.
8. You understand adults at a young age, and you often adopt their sense of humor.
Dad jokes aren't just a thing in your 40s if you're an only child.
9. You either get your feelings hurt very easily or you have absolutely no feelings at all.
It isn't our fault we never had siblings to pick on us. We didn't have siblings to pick on us, so we don't always know when we're being picked on.
10. You didn't know how to be a good roommate, so your first roommate probably hated you.
I still apologize to my first roommate, about being an awful roommate.
11. No, we aren't all spoiled brats.
Although I was #blessed with amazing godparents who bought me a pony for my eighth birthday and supported all my crazy ideas, my mother beat it in to me that you need to work for what you get, and that you don't always get what you want.
12. Helicopter parents are a real thing, and you know from first hand experience.
Have any of you non-only children had a device in your car that can tell where you are, down to the parking spot, count how many times you turn your car on, and what time you leave/arrive at your destination? Do you have to text your mom when you leave/arrive at any place? No? Just us? Okay...
13. You can spot another only child a mile away.
Maybe we send out only child vibes, but I know an only child when I see one.
