13 Reasons Why has become one of the most popular Netflix series for people everywhere. It has attracted thousands of viewers to tune in and hear Hannah Baker's story, though it was originally a best-selling book. For those who haven't seen the show yet, warning. I'm about to spoil a little bit. The show is based around a teenage girl who commits suicide. There are several reasons for her committing suicide. To be precise, 13 reasons. However, before Hannah committed suicide, she left 13 cassette tapes dedicated to the people that drove her to suicide. The show has developed to be a very sensitive topic, but it has definitely got people talking about an issue that is extremely overlooked. It also got a lot of people opening up about their own issues and created a whole new group of people who are telling their own story. Being someone who attempted suicide and still struggles with suicidal thoughts, watching 13 Reasons Why turned into me watching my own story on screen.
1. I've been bullied like Hannah Baker.
People all across the world have been bullied, but most don't realize just how much their words can impact others. Being bullied is something that can completely scar you. I'm older now and have a better sense of who I am, but I know what it feels like. Just like so many other people out there. Being bullied is no joke.
2. I've had friends stab me in the back, like Hannah Baker.
This one is almost too real for me. Going through something that I've been through, you really realize who cares about you. You figure out who isn't there for you. It hurts when you care about someone who doesn't care about you, but you have to tell yourself you're better off without those people in your life. And anyone that hurts you that bad doesn't deserve to be in your life and doesn't deserve your friendship.
3. I reached out for help, like Hannah Baker.
I did reach out for help before I started to sink. Granted, I didn't reach out to the right people. But I did reach out to people that I thought cared. Turns out, they didn't.
4. I've blamed myself, like Hannah Baker.
Most people who struggle with depression constantly ask themselves why they are the way they are. All they want is to feel normal and happy. They constantly put the blame on themselves and ask themselves why they aren't good enough. But in reality, they are perfect. We may be damaged, but damaged things carry the most history and have the most knowledge. We've been through it all and have come out on the other side, stronger than ever.
5. I've had my own Clay Jenson, like Hannah Baker.
We've all had our own Clay Jenson. You know, the guy that completely broke our heart. Some of us have had more than one Clay Jenson in our lives. But we still love those people, and we don't even know why.
6. I've disappointed my parents, like Hannah Baker.
At some point, I feel like everyone has done this. Whether we mean to or not. I've let my parents down or hurt their feelings before. I know I have. But I'm just grateful that they're still there for me. And in the end, they're my biggest protectors.
7. I've gotten hate, like Hannah Baker.
Oh, boy, have I gotten my own fair share of hate. Being opinionated and a writer leaves you open to hate. A lot of people don't like what you have to say, well, I'm not out here to tiptoe around people's feelings. I write to help others. I write to let people know they aren't alone and that someone has been through the same thing they're going through. But just like Hannah, people don't like me. And sometimes that's hard to take in.
8. Suicide was not the first thing I went too, like Hannah Baker.
People often think that people who think about committing suicide or do commit suicide just wake up one day and decide to do it. That's most often never the case. Hannah Baker was bullied and tried every day to fight through it. She tried every day to be okay. She even took a summer and decided to change her life around. And when all of her efforts didn't work out for her, she turned to the only option she thought she had left. Like many others, she wanted everything to just change. But it didn't. So she did the last thing she thought of.
9. I kept a journal, like Hannah Baker.
Yes, I kept a journal of my feelings. A lot of teenage girls do. But my journal was nowhere near positive. It was a journal of constant negativity. I would re-read it and get even more depressed. It was extremely raw and some of the most depressing thoughts I have ever thought of. A lot of people don't know that this journal ever existed. But it did. Like Hannah Baker, I tried to write out my feelings. But it doesn't always work.
10. I've cared about people who didn't care about me, like Hannah Baker.
We've all done this. Because once we care about someone, it is so hard to let it go. Like Hannah Baker, I've cared about people who didn't care about me. I've been hurt by these people too, just like Hannah. We've all been hurt in this way, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
11. I shocked people with my issues, like Hannah Baker.
After Hannah Baker committed suicide, a lot of people were shocked by her decision. A lot of people had no idea that Hannah was struggling or going through something. Similar to Hannah, I struggled for years without saying anything. I went on with my life trying to act as normal as possible. And when people figured out what I had been going through (five years later), a lot of people were shocked and didn't understand. I'm just lucky enough to still be here to explain myself and what happened.
12. I've had my heart broken, like Hannah Baker.
I guess everyone has had their heart broken, but it's how we handle that that defines us. We can't control who we always fall for, and I think I've fallen for all the wrong people. Just like Hannah Baker.
13. I've tried to commit suicide, like Hannah Baker.
I'm guessing if you've made it this far in my article, you can guess I've tried to commit suicide. The ironic part is, I tried to commit suicide the same way that Hannah Baker did in the books. In the books, Hannah Baker tried to overdose on pills. I tried this as well. For those of you who don't know about this part of me, I'm sorry that you reading this resulted in you finding out. But I am not announcing this to the world with ease. I am announcing it to the world proudly because I am proud to stand here and tell my story. Unlike Hannah Baker, my attempts were unsuccessful. I'm grateful for every single day that I do have now. I know exactly what it feels like to be in Hannah Baker's shoes, and that's why I relate to Hannah Baker.
