Recently, Netflix released a 13-episode series version of Jay Asher's novel 13 Reasons Why. Millions of people have already binged the series and decided what their opinion of it is. One opinion, that I've seen way more than I thought I would is that Hannah Baker was popular, and most of these things weren't a huge deal, "she was just being dramatic." Every time I see something like this it stops me in my tracks. Being popular is what killed Hannah Baker. Being "popular" kills every day, and I'm about to give you 13 reasons why.
1. Everything you do is "important"
Being in the "popular group" or being considered a "popular" student consist of everyone knowing who you are, and not only knowing your name and who you're with but EVERYTHING you do is broadcasted as the day's biggest news story.
2. Rumors go farther and last longer
Just like when Hannah innocently slid down the slide and had her picture taken turned into something wrong and dirty. Everything you do is twisted. Because EVERYONE is talking about you and what you did, it continuously gets worse. And not only that but because you're "popular" if you and someone else do the exact same thing, people will have forgotten about them way before they stop talking about you. Have you ever played the game telephone? The more people involved and the longer you play the bigger difference in what is said in the beginning and the end.
3. You live under pressure
Everyone wants to be "popular" and when you have to work hard to keep that status. Everything you do is under a microscope, and just one bad move could cause you to slip. What's worse than never getting to sit with the cool kids? Losing your spot after you get there.
4. "It doesn't bother you."
Being popular means you're rock hard and don't have feelings, right? Wrong. Everything said about you is taken to heart, you wonder if that will be the thing that tears you down. Takes you back to square one. Makes you a "loser." Like, when Courtney started that rumor about Hannah. She couldn't handle it, but Hannah could. Couldn't she?
5. Your friends AREN'T your friends
The reason everyone is dying to be popular is for the friendships. You get to hang out with the cool kids, go to the best parties, and EVERYONE wants to be your friend, but that's when the problem starts. You have friends for two reasons, and two reasons only. They want the perks, or they wanna tear you to shreds. Can you figure out which is which?
6. You're automatically a slut or a player
No matter what, if they consider you "cool" they consider you easy. You don't even have to do anything. Your name could end up on some list, or you could kiss the wrong person but either way. You're a slut.
7. You can never tell if someone's feelings are real.
Just like with Justin, Zach, and Marcus there is an ulterior motive. And it could be ANYTHING. From whether or not they can "hit that," to hooking up with your even hotter, more popular friend, or to tear you down. You can't trust anyone.
8. Nobody notices when something is wrong
Just like Hannah's parents didn't see what was happening or anyone else for that matter, no one notices when the popular kid is struggling. You're popular. You're always out with your friends, you're an athlete, you're involved in school. Why look deeper than that? They won't notice the cuts on your wrist but they will notice the ones on the kid with no friends. And if by chance, someone does notice something, anything, it's handled one of two ways.
9. Everything is justifiable
You're cool so you're always out partying with your friends, just to be cool. You wanted to sleep with that guy, you wanted to drink just to be cool, or smoke that, pop that just to see. There isn't anything more to it, right?
10. "You just want attention."
Obviously, you WANT everyone focusing on you ALL of the time. So, if you drink yourself half to death, or overdose, or cut yourself, or even kill yourself its just for attention. Right? People die for the attention. Amazing theory, but it HAS to be true because why else would "such a pretty girl" do such a thing?
11. You aren't taken seriously
A large percent of the time if someone finds out that a popular student is hurting themselves, it is shrugged off. Even if that student goes and tries to get help for themselves. Adults perceive students by how they are perceived by their peers. If you have the reputation of a slut, you wanted to sleep with the guy. If you have the reputation of a "mean girl," you provoked that fight. If you have the reputation of being dramatic, you're just being dramatic.
12. Just being dramatic
Because, like I've mentioned multiple times, you WANT the attention. Bad attention is still attention and you will get it any way you can. At least, that's what people think. You aren't depressed, you're just a little sad and "being dramatic." That wasn't an anxiety attack, you just got upset and you're "being dramatic." That person didn't mean to grope you, it was an accident and you're "being dramatic."
13. You feel alone
It doesn't matter how popular you are, once you reach that status something changes. You start to realize the people around you don't actually care about you, and that you can't trust anyone. If there is someone there that really does care, like Clay was for Hannah, you can't even tell. They get lumped in with the others because how can you possibly make that distinction. This is the worst thing. This is the final straw. You have no one to turn to, because to them you're just another "popular kid" they don't see you or what you're going through. You have no one.
This isn't just a book or a series. This is real. There are real people, with real lives going through this every day. And while you may think it was harsh for Hannah to tell everyone it was their fault it is NECESSARY. It is necessary for us to realize the things we do and say, the way we perceive people and create our opinions before asking can kill. We make these mistakes every day. And someone takes their life every day. Every 16.2 minutes to be exact.
If someone you know is reaching out for help, no matter what their social standing, be there! If you or someone you know is self harming or thinking about suicide or self harm PLEASE reach out. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat online with a specialist here.
