When I was 14, I thought that physical attractiveness was the most important quality a girl could have. I was naive, insecure, and read way too many issues of Cosmo that I stole from my aunt's bathroom. I learned everything there is to know about life through these stolen magazines, from how to tape your boobs up to the best cocktails for summer. It was all very helpful to me as a flat-chested freshman in high school. While I was very confused by many things Cosmo told me (I'm looking at you, Love and Sex section, for instance), one thing was very clear: every girl on every page was absolutely beautiful. Even the girl in the Preparation H ad. So naturally, I viewed beauty as the ultimate goal: a nirvana-esque quality I obsessed over.
Six years later, my perspective has changed completely. While there was no defining moment in which I said "f*ck this, I just wanna eat Taco Bell and wear sweatpants", I gradually realized that there are qualities which are way more important than prettiness. Turns out, I like being funny. I would much rather be funny girl than a pretty one and here's why -
1. A sense of humor costs no money.
courtesy of hijacked.com
courtesy of hijacked.com
But do you know what does? Makeup. In what sick world does eyeliner cost $12? That's like guac at Chipotle SIX TIMES.
2. Making people laugh is an amazing feeling.
courtesy of giphy.com
courtesy of giphy.comThe feeling of making another person laugh is what I imagine cocaine feels like: exhilarating and addictive. One second you're telling someone about how you got cracked in the face by a softball when you were 15 and next thing you know you're riding the high of their laughter right into the Christmas season.
3. You're, like, crazy good at icebreakers.
courtesy of tumblr.com
courtesy of tumblr.com
Joke. Introducing yourself to someone at a party always kind of feels like falling down a flight of stairs (unless you are Beyoncè). Being able to laugh at yourself and how sufficiently awkward you feel can soften the fall, lighten the mood, and perhaps prevent a concussion.
4. Chances are, you have some pretty funny best girl friends.
Whereas beauty is a quality all but the blind can appreciate, comedic genius is a bit more exclusive. The people who will appreciate your sarcastic use of SAT words and perfectly timed F-Bombs the most are the people who have the same hilarious mind. There's nothing better than building off of each other's jokes until you're rolling around on the floor laughing so hard that one of you just might pee your pants.
5. And you're pretty close with some cool guys, too.
If your guy friends see you as more than just a pretty face or a set of pants they'd like to (consensually) get into, there's a good shot that you'll develop a pretty solid and platonic relationship with them. If you can joke with each other, that's even more awesome. Dude humor is different than lady humor. And while you might not need to hear the details of exactly what, or whom, they did last weekend, their jokes are often pretty funny.
6. When you date someone, you can just be yourself.
A boyfriend is not just someone who spends his flex points on you when you go on Recker's or Huddle dates, or someone who reluctantly agrees to buy you drinks/pay your cover at Feve, or someone who treks across the tundra that is campus to see you. It's also someone to share life (and that crazy sense of humor) with, and hey, sometimes you'll get a little weird. But even on those days where you can't be bothered to put makeup or pants on, they'll accept you for the hilarious nutjob you are, and that's pretty rad.
7. People think the weird sh*t you do is hilarious.
If a model gets whole milk in her latte instead of skim, the media goes freakin' nuts. I, on the other hand, can buy $13 worth of Taco Bell on a Wednesday afternoon and nobody bats an eye. If that isn't the most beautiful thing you've ever heard, (other than "chicken fries are back at Burger King!") you need to take a step back and reevaluate your life.
8. You can play some pretty unfortunate stuff off as a joke.
courtesy of Fox
*a real conversation I have had*
"How'd that calc 2 test go?"
"Oh…um, I actually got a 30%" *chuckles lightly*
"HAHAH you're so funny sometimes, it's great"
"Hah, thanks" *makes appointment with adviser to drop Calc 2 and prays a quick Rosary*
9. It doesn't require much effort.
Your best jokes come out when you're simply being yourself, which takes much less effort than applying mascara, or wiggling yourself into a pair of jeans that make you feel like an overstuffed sausage. One of the greatest discoveries of my young, adolescent years: I am just as funny in pajamas as I am in a dress. Way up (in my lofted bed), I feel blessed.
10. Looks are temporary, but hilarity is forever.
courtesy of giphy.com
If you would like to dispute this point, I beg you to look at Betty White, AKA one of the two gods I pray to. The other is Tina Fey. I actually think humor ages like an expensive cheese: it gets better with time. The closer I get to adulthood, the more I realize I am wholly incompetent, and that's pretty funny.
*another conversation I have actually had*
My friend: "yes! I got the internship I applied for! What are you doing this summer?"
Me: *watching Netflix elbows deep in a bag of Cheetos* "sh-sh-shhhhh. Ron Swanson is talking."
11. You don't have as many haterz.
A pretty girl seems to get an unwarranted amount of hate just for being blessed with a stellar gene pool. They could be the friendliest person, help you with your homework, and volunteer at a homeless shelter for the elderly, and girls who feel threatened will still find a flaw to point out. I feel like as "the funny one", you don't face as much criticism. It's hard to feel threatened by a girl who opens a conversation by showing you a picture she found when she went 164 weeks back into Harry Styles' Instagram last night. Especially when said girl is wearing a sweatshirt that is 3 times too big for her, because "it feels like home".
12. Even on days I don't look my best, I still like myself.
courtesy of CDN.com
Even when it's the dead of winter, and I look deathly ill with a touch of homelessness, I'll crack a joke in my head and make myself laugh. And then silently high-five myself mentally. Or physically. Whatever.
*looks at my sleep deprived self in mirror, cracked out on caffeine with visible bags under my eyes* "where is my stick? Has anyone seen my stick? I'm gonna need it to beat the boys off today. Let's go get em, tiger."
13. YOU CAN BE BOTH!
courtesy of TBS
Now, before the entire village grabs its burning pitchforks and tells me that girls can be both funny and pretty, let me just say that I know. There are a thousand examples of women who are absolutely beautiful, but can have an entire room doubled over in laughter: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Chrissy Teigen, and Betty White. The list goes on and on. My point is, if you made me choose between the two, I would choose being a funny girl over being a pretty one every single time. It's been a long road from 14, but it's been one paved with laughter, joy, and a ton of self discovery. They say happy girls are the prettiest, and I'm happiest when being my complete, honest, and occasionally humorous self. And you should be too.
