Allow me to start off by saying that all members of The Squad are loved equally, are they not? Everyone brings a little something-something to the table that makes the group dynamic work. You can’t have a bunch of the same people in a squad because then it would just be boring. Within each and every squad there are a variety of personas. You can be all of them, you can be some of them, but you can't be any of them.
1. The Mom
This is the person that's always driving everywhere. The person that makes sure you’re drinking water when you’re drunk. Holds your weave back when you're puking. The person that tells you to eat when you’re hungry and finish your homework before you come out. Usually the giver of advice. The confidante.
2. The Flaky One
Sometimes ya see them sometimes ya don’t. You make plans with them then oops they’re busy. Some would say they are more of an “honorary member” than an actual member of the squad. Nobody really knows what they’re up to or what's going on but they’re still a member nonetheless.
3. The Funny One
Now we can’t all be the Chandler Bing of The Squad, but you just know there’s someone who uses a funny accent or cracks a joke here and there that gets the whole group crying from laughter (hopefully). They don’t even have to be outright funny. It can just be the way they are or what they do.
4. The Wild One
They like to scream. They like to jump around. They like to go out and party. Often. If they were a toddler, parents would call them “hyper.” They’re fun and whatnot but oh mah gosh are they a lot to handle at times.
5. The Caring One
This one kind of goes hand-in-hand with the mom. The caring one usually accompanies the mom when consoling another member of the squad or giving advice. They’ll sit and cry with you or bring you ice cream when you’re feeling not so hot. You can always count on them to be there for you or to help you through a tough time.
6. The Psycho
They might sit quietly for quite some time just listening.Then they say something and you all are just kinda like “heh, okay then moving on.” Or, in other cases, you might hear something about them and be like “nah, they’re not that crazy,” but then you find out that it’s true and they’re insane. Now, this can be psycho as in actually psychotic or psycho as in running away with their boyfriend to live on a farm.
7. The Chill One
This is a lovely human right here. They are pretty much down to do “whatever,” to quote directly. Wanna see a movie? Sure. Wanna take a nap? Okay. What do you want to do? Whatever. Just an easy going person in general. You need one of these to balance the psycho. If you don’t gotchu a chill human in yo squad, go getcho self one.
8. The Flirtatious One
Female: Talks to all of the boys. All of the boys fall in love with her. Bats one eyelash, the boys have hearts in the center of their corneas. Always has a boyfriend.
Male: What they call a “ladies man."
9. The Hot Mess
There is always something, without fail, going wrong in their life. They like to cry. A lot. They are grounded. A lot.
10. The Smart One
I will leave you with a quote: “I ONLY GOT AN A. NOT EVEN AN A+ UGH I HATE MYSELF I BASICALLY FAILED.”
11. The Dumb One
They aren’t really dumb as much as they are ditzy. Like they’ll say something and you’re all just like ur kidding.
12. The Angry One
They like to use profanity and complain a lot. Driving with them is no bueno because they enjoy screaming at people in cars that can’t even hear them. If they drop something it may as well just be the end of the world because you can basically see the steam coming from their ears and the blood rushing to their face.
13. The Successful One
This human is going places. They are always busy because they are in all of the clubs, all of the sports, have thirty-eight jobs and are applying for more, all of the internships, go to the gym always, are on all of the leadership committees, are taking twenty-three credit hours because why not. Probably gonna be a gazillionaire someday. HOWEVER. There are two subcategories to this one. You’ve got the humble and you’ve got the “yaaa I know I’m a big deal.” If they’re the second one, I give you permission to slap them.
At the end of the day, your squad is your chosen family and you wouldn’t have the memories you have without them. The stories you make with them are the ones that you’re going to tell your kids and their kids and theirs after that. They’re your bridesmaids, groomsmen, and future bingo partners. They make coming home from school worth it, bad days good, and good days better. You wouldn’t be who you are without your squad, and they wouldn’t be who they are without you.
