It’s pretty obvious that we’re all susceptible to the influence of others. We impact each other through our simple words, actions, thoughts and presence. There’s actually a certain art to talking to people in ways that’ll get them to do what you want, and thanks to Robert Cialdini's six basic principles of persuasion, here are 12 tips and tricks to worm your way towards your desires.
1. The Door-In-The-Face Technique
Start off with a large request that you know you’ll be denied, then ask for something smaller. Compared to the first request, it’ll seem much better and you might just get what you want. For example, if you ask your parents for $50, they’ll probably say no. If you ask for $10 immediately after that, they’ll probably think, “Oh, well that sounds better,” and give you the money. The key to this technique is to remember that your goal was the $10 all along!
This one is pretty simple. Someone is more likely to comply with your requests if you’ve done a favor for them. It’s kind of like an “I owe you” thing since, you know, they technically owe you.
3. The Lowball Technique
To persuade someone or to sell something, offer it at a low price, and when the person agrees with the price, raise it.
I know it sounds confusing, but maybe this scenario can explain it better: Congratulations! You just agreed to buy a car for $15,570. The car dealer leaves to get the receipt, comes back, and says, “Wait, the car is actually worth $15,800. Would you still like to buy it?”
Well, it’s only a $230 difference for the car of your dreams, a car that you’ve already agreed to buy, so why not? This technique focuses on the fact that saying no to something you're already attached to is harder than flat out rejection.
If you told an 11 year-old to sit down, would they listen to you? What if you told a police officer to sit down? If you’re in a higher position than someone, they’re much more likely to listen to your requests.
5. The That’s-Not-All Technique
This can come in really handy when you’re trying to sell, trade or buy something. It’s pretty self-explanatory.
6. Social Validity
This is like a subconscious form of social pressure. If everyone else is doing something new or trendy like buying that new iPhone, then maybe, just maybe, your parents will let you buy it too.
7. The Foot-In-The-Door Technique
OK, this one is pretty awesome. Start off with a small request that you know someone will say yes to. Then, move on to a larger request. If, let’s say, your friend agrees to go to that party with you until 11, ask them if they can stay until 11:30. Chances are, since they already agreed to stay until 11, they probably won’t mind staying another half hour. Just don’t let them know that you planned to leave at 11:30 all along!
8. Commitment and Consistency
If you’re committed to something or someone, you’re obviously going to want to support the values and beliefs that follow. For example, if your favorite celebrity endorsed a product, wouldn’t you be more inclined to buy it (or at least check it out) just because you love that celebrity?
9. The Deadline Technique
If something is being offered for a limited time only, that means it’s more special, and we like special.
This one's very similar to the deadline technique. If there’s a certain restriction, limited number of items, or any fast-approaching deadline for something, it instantly becomes more valuable. That’s why old antiques, sold-out concert tickets, autographed items, and materials of those sorts are valued so heavily.
11. Playing Hard To Get
OK, so this might not work on that girl or guy you’ve been trying to get with, but it can most definitely work for materials, objects, or basically any non-human prized possessions. A lot of people want things they can’t have.
Does that person like you? Good, they’ll probably do what you want (out of love, of course).