Anyone who loves acrylic nails knows that they have their positives and negatives. For example, they make you feel more put together but they also make it harder to actually, physically put yourself together―buttons, zippers, contact lenses, and makeup tools all become a challenge.
Here are a few things you know to be true if you always have your claws on:
1. People can hear you texting from a mile away.
Along with a beautiful set of acrylics comes the annoying tapping of fingertips. But when you're equally obsessed with your nails and your phone, what is there to do? You get used to it and tune it out but, judging comments I've heard from friends, family, and strangers, other people don't seem to.
2. Taking contact lenses out is mission impossible.
It takes forever to figure out how not to stab yourself in the eye and you never fully get the hang of it. Yes, you have to get used to using the middle of your fingers instead of your fingertips but the nails are worth it. You know what they say, "Beauty is pain."
3. Let's be real...stuff gets stuck under your nails all the time.
A gross but inevitable fact. You figured out a long time ago that cleaning those little suckers regularly is a must. If not, there's a 100% chance you'll find your shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, or who knows what under them at some point. Fake nails aren't always so cute...but you're still going to choose them 10//10 times over real nails anyway.
4. To make your nail tech mad or to accept that you won't love your nails—that is the question.
It's always a struggle when the person doing your nails isn't following your artistic vision after you've already made them change things three hundred times. How many times can you tell them they're not getting it right before coming off as an unreasonable perfectionist? To be determined...
5. Trash and grocery bags stand no chance against your razor-sharp claws.
6. Trying to clasp your jewelry, open a soda can, or pick something up makes you feel like Edward Scissorhands.
And if you drop something on a flat surface? Forget it. You know better than to even try picking up the change you dropped or setting your credit card down unless you have an infinite amount of time to spend sliding them around whatever surface they're on while people who clearly have never had fake nails stare at you like you're a crazy person.
7. Bumping your nails while putting them into the dryer nearly gives you a heart attack.
THIS IS THE WORST. Dryers, fans, and lights come in all different shapes and sizes, and they're so hard to get used to for some reason. Bumping one of your nails will stop your dead in your tracks and if it is messed up then you face the internal argument with yourself over whether to tell your nail tech or not.
8. Your friends constantly ask for back and head scratches.
Acrylics are the only thing that beat that scary head scratcher doohicky. You better hide your new set of nails if you don't want this unending job.
9. Trying out a new nail salon is a suspenseful gamble.
Sometimes the risk is worth it and you find your new favorite place. Other times, a new-to-you salon means a ghastly sight of dirty tools and nail techs dropping files left and right. Pro tip: If you see these signs, abort mission.
10. On the rare occasion that you have them off, you don't remember how to text without them.
"Are you drunk right now?" "No, sorry. That's just me attempting to text without my giant nails on. I swear the buttons moved or something."
11. You hate when all the salon employees talk and leave you sitting there in silence for what feels like a year.
This can be so boring. After 15-45 minutes of them ignoring you to their best ability despite the fact that your hands are in their hands, you feel somewhere in between rude for not talking to them and annoyed that they won't talk to you. Lesson learned: bring a friend to the salon.
12. Showing off new nails never gets old.
No matter how many times you get your nails done, you always want to show them off if you stray even the slightest bit from your go-to color or design. Whether you show them off loud and proud or not so subtly work them into your latest Instagram post, you can't help but flaunt those works of art.
