1. That one time you didn't eat before drinking and threw up all over that sophomore boy on your sports team.

2. That other time you thought vodka-water tasted good and reminded everyone every five seconds how you'd discovered the best drink ever.

3. That one time you couldn't afford alcohol so you drank three energy drinks at the Halloween dance and proceeded to speed dance like a crazy person while insisting you were drunk.

4. That other one time you went to a football game at 11 a.m. and got so drunk that you and your friend threw up but you yelled at her to rally. Then proceeded to fall asleep at the after party.

5. The many critical times you climbed up onto your bunk bed drunk.

6. That other time you left a party and walked three miles home to charge your phone.

7. The multiple times you stole other people’s alcohol from parties because you were too poor to buy your own.

8. That one time you fell asleep on the communal bathroom floor in a friends dorm, then proceeded to be embarrassed every time you re-entered that dorm.

9. That other time it had been raining and you fell - dragging your friend down into the mud with you - and somehow got mud all over your hat but not in your hair.

10. That one time you convinced a senior boy to buy you a case of beer then went around the party telling people “if you want a beer… Have a beer!”

11. That other time you were sprinting hand in hand with your friend and tripped on nothing and skinned your knee. Now you wear that scar like a badge because you were such an idiot freshman.

12. That recent time you did it all over again because you didn't realize how dumb you were and became a born-again freshman - but this time as a sophomore (those stories for another one time).