Sleep is important, right? Let's look at some statistics: According to the Health Research Foundation over 70 percent of college students don't get enough sleep. I could talk about the health implications of sleep deprivation, but let's try something different.
Let's personify college and pretend that is is an otherworldly being that makes the rules. Apparently, college has a different idea about the importance of sleep and who actually deserves it. For example:
1. Sleep is less important than your classwork
Have more than 12 credit hours this semester? Get ready for some long study nights and early mornings.
2. Sleep is only important if you run out of coffee
Who needs sleep when you have coffee? College seems to agree. Unfortunately, you run out of coffee eventually. College doesn't seem to understand that; it must have a bottomless cup or something.
3. Sleep is for people who don't want a social life
Want to go to that school event? Or that party? Or just spend time with family? Or, heaven forbid, make friends? Get ready to lose sleep over it.
4. Sleep isn't for people who play sports while in college
Good at football? Get ready for those early morning practices. Scholarshipped for soccer? Get ready for those late night games. Throw in an actual college education and there will be months of lost sleep by the time your four years are up.
5. Sleep isn't important for people who work in addition to going to school
Need to pay for things while you're in college? Well, who doesn't? Unfortunately, college doesn't seem to get that, so good luck sleeping if you need money in addition to an education.
6. Sleep is for people who don't have a major in education or performance degrees
It was once said that people who can't do, teach. For whoever said that, I would like to point out that receiving an education degree in any subject is no walk-in-the-park.
Just ask all of those teachers who still haven't caught up on their years of sleepless nights, not to mention their practically nonexistent paychecks (thank you, student loans.) It really is a position that a person does because they love to teach, not because it's easy to do.
8. Sleep isn't important for people with more than one major
Want to make that college money and invested time work harder for you? Try double majoring! Of course, there is a small fee mostly consisting of your ability to sleep (and some of your sanity.) Better start another pot of coffee.
9. Heck, sleep isn't important for people with a major, period
Biology major? Get ready for late night study sessions and early morning labs.
Math major? Get ready for countless hours memorizing formulas, working derivatives, silently cursing any mathematician who ever did anything with calculus ever.
English major? Better get REALLY good at translating Shakespearean into modern English in your head and writing entire essays on how one sentence in a book changes the meaning of the universe as we know it.
Why is that coffee taking so long?
10. Sleep isn't for people who like to be involved on campus
Always wanted to get involved with student government? Active when it comes to psychology club? Can't live without zoo science club? Say goodbye to your sleep.
11. Sleep just isn't for anyone that needs it
Need to get some rest for a test tomorrow? Or need to recover after a trip, concert, or game? Sorry friends, you're out of luck. But, on the upside, the coffee should be ready by now.
12. (Good) sleep doesn't exist in college unless you go out of your way to find it
Let's be honest, that one time you were "sick," you were just fed up with the relentless pace of the semester and needed a break.
But cheer up! After college is over there's only...more sleepless nights and early mornings...? Hmm...well, I guess you could consider it...training? Maybe?
