Every girl that plans on joining a sorority in college cannot wait to finally arrive and go through the recruitment process. They are lured in by sayings like "Just trust the system," and "You will end up where you belong in the end." And as much as many girls do not want to admit it, these ideas are, for the most part, very true. Most girls do end up with sorority "women" who they are similar to and fit in with. And further, lots of girls, regardless of what "tier" sorority they end up in, go through the entire process with a open mind and light heart that every recruitment councilor endorses, and feel joyful and calm the whole week.
But many girls, at some point during recruitment, although they could never ever have imagined it beforehand (Really: I never would have believed it), end up feeling rejected, not pretty enough, not cool enough, and in tears. Now, as much as I would not have believed it going in, I was also one of those girls, and I can personally endorse that even with your disappointment when recruitment does not go according to your expectations about where you are sure you belong, you definitely come out of it in an amazing place with awesome girls, and you really do feel like you belong where you end up.
Besides being a poster child for what recruitment councilors and rho gammas say the entire week, the point I am trying to make is about those girls who come out of recruitment disappointed and sure that they got screwed over by the "system," before they meet all the amazing girls they get to be sisters with. The primary complaint from these girls is, of course, "Why can't we do recruitment like the guys do for frats?" They complain about not having enough time to actually get to know the girls and the whole situation being to forced and stressful. These complaints are very valid, and definitely could be improved upon.
However, when the drama has settled, life returns to "normal," you recognize a sorority is not the center of your entire existence, and you really think about it, you realize sorority recruitment may not be flawless, it is far from it, but there is absolutely no way it would be better if girls went through frat recruitment, and this is why.
1. Girls are late to everything.
Unless every single second of our lives our planned out, girls tend to be late to just about everything. Especially in a high-pressure situation where we really want to look our best, we would be constantly last minute changing our outfit and adding makeup until we were undeniably late... and look like we have a two inch mask on.
2. We'd base it on other PNM's we saw there.
With sorority recruitment, everyone has to go where they are told, which makes it hard to tell what other girls top choice is. Therefore, you have to base your decision on the girls already in the sorority, instead of a girl who was annoying in your Spanish class that is also going through recruitment for that house, but really may not even want to be there. If we did recruitment like guys, since you only have to go to houses you still want, we would constantly be looking around at what other potential new members were there, and basing our decision off of where our friends were and how cool the other people in recruitment looked, when you do not even really know who is going to end up there.
3. More time for recruitment = more time to talk about each other.
And further, when noticing what other girls are being recruited by a particular sorority, girls are not the type to keep quiet about other girls. When it comes down to it, there are only so many spots in a pledge class, and it would be thought of as a competition. There would be constant talking about other girls to current members of the sorority, and the amount of back stabbing and bad talking would get out of hand. The thing those backstabbing girls would not realize is this- nobody likes a bad talker, so while you may be making your (ex) friend look bad, but you are making yourself look way worse.
4. Sunday Night Dinner: Where is my vegan option?!
There really is a reason that girls are not allowed to have food while in the houses for sorority recruitment. First off, we would be super self conscious about what we ate, afraid girls would judge us on our food choices and God forbid we got some sauce on our face. But the worse part is, a lot of girls would actually judge potential new members on their food. I have lots of friends that have very different eating habits from myself, but it does not effect our friendship at all. However, if the first time I met a girl she was complaining about there being no vegan, organic, and gluten free option, I might, as much as I hate to admit it, be a little turned off, when in reality her food preferences do not effect her personality at all. I would also also ask her if she could eat anything but carrots.
5. Food would become a bartering chip.
Along those same lines, girls would find themselves at the houses that were serving food they liked the best. Although this happens with guys as well, a guy isn't going to go to a house he really does not want to join just because it is taco night. Girls, on the other hand, are much pickier, and can be swayed by food and material things much more strongly. Sororities who really wanted to be the "coolest" would attract girls by having the best, most expensive food, and that really isn't a representation of anything about the sorority. I like Panera and you like Panera, but that is not why we should be friends!
6. Food is considered a gift.
Our decisions might get unfairly influenced by the fact that that one sorority let us keep some cookies... or our cup or napkin... and that just wouldn't fly. How dare they?!
7. We purposely dress up for recruitment.
Everyone says "just be yourself," but that does not mean not putting on seven pounds of cover up and blush; I am still myself, just myself without zits and with perfect bone structure! Girls judge other girls on their looks- it is just a fact, even if you do not consciously do. And all girls know this, so we put a ridiculous amount of effort into our appearance for recruitment. With a long, casual, drawn out process, the amount of energy and number of outfits that would go into it would make even a model tired. And besides, the longer the process, the more time to get a wrinkle or a zit or something else that does not actually matter but would make you go crazy with nervousness.
8. Six days was a lot of anxiety, imagine ten weeks.
So yes, the days and events would be a lot shorter if girls did recruitment like frats, but for girls the anxiety and overthinking does not end at the end of a recruitment event. Imagine not days, but weeks, of thinking about whether or not you made a good impression and if they are going to ask you to come back to "chill."
9. You're not telling me who to talk to?!?
We need the structure. I actually can not imagine going into a house full of girls I desperately want to impress and not being told who to talk to. I would die of intimidation if I had to just go up to a girl and "chill" with her. Guys can just "bro out" and talk about sports and the food, but girls would never be able to handle the stress. A couple really confident girls would monopolize the room, chatting up every girl in the house, and the rest of us, would, inevitably, just end up talking to each other.
10. We'd have too much time to focus on the "tiers."
Although some girls do know going into recruitment, it is such a whirlwind that you really do not have time to focus on a sorority's "status". The longer the recruitment and the more breaks you have, the more time you have to figure out and think about the tiers of the sororities. I cried enough about regular girls "not wanting me," no girl needs the added pressure of the arbitrarily, superficially chosen "best" house being a consideration.
11. We are more manipulative than guys.
This is huge. There are reasons we have no gift rules and no dirty recruitment rules. I do not care how not superficial you are, even if sorority members were not talking to you outside recruitment, you would be talking to them. Trying to seem cool in front of them, getting boys to talk to them about you, or at the very least being on your toes all the time. Girls would get strategic, it would turn into a life-monopolizing game, and having, you know, a good personality, would have nothing to do with it.
12. Everyone would go to the same house.
Even for sorority recruitment, which happens in a blink and gives you no time to think, you can figure out a general idea of which house is the "best" and "worst." The thing is, with our recruitment, you have to go to every house, and might decide you like certain girls the best regardless of their "tier." If we got to choose right from the start, every girl would be at the "top tier" house, and other houses, with perfectly nice girls that you would probably like a lot, would be empty, because some pretentious frat guys decided they were not "top tier."
