Sorry mom, but the only grand kids you'll have from me will be in dog form. There is a reason many people get dogs instead of having children, and some of those reasons are:
1. They cost a lot less than a kid.
On the radio I heard that a kid costs an average of half a million dollars, from before they are born to paying for college. Dogs are expensive, but not that expensive. Dogs range from hundreds to a few thousand. It's definitely more cost efficient to get a dog instead.
2. You don't have to give birth.
The number one reason I'm scared to have children is the pain I will experience while pushing an eight pound child out of my vagina. With a dog, you don't have to worry. The only pain a dogs will cause you is when they make their way to heaven.
3. They don't talk back.
I am nervous to have children because there is a high chance they will turn out like me. Believe me when I say I have a huge sassy attitude, and having a child that is just like me? Yeah no thanks, I'll just get a dog. Dogs are great, they don't talk back, they love you and are in a happy mood every day.
4. When dogs continue to grow older they love you more.
With kids on the other hand, they become annoying and have a bad attitude about everything. They feel life is just so hard for them and only them, which can lead them to say things to their parents like "I hate you." Dogs are loyal and stand by you every day.
5. They are happy to see you, always.
When you come home dogs greet you like you've been gone for an eternity when it's only been 20 minutes. Children on the other hand could care less.
6. Even when they grow old they still sit on your lap.
When kids hit about age ten, good luck getting them to want to sit on your lap. Not to mention dogs are warm and gentle and you'll love it when they come up to cuddle.
7. They will always eat their dinner.
Dogs will eat anything and everything, which could be bad depending on how you look at it, yet you know they will always eat their dinner. You won't have to fight them, they will just do it, without being told to.
8. There are endless possibilities of what you could name a dog.
There are only so many things you can name a tiny human. It's socially acceptable to name a giant dog Bear or a little dog McNugget, but if you would name your child that, people would stare at you like you have a chicken addiction and you shouldn't have a kid. Weird names are given to dogs all the time, the weirder the better! But not so much the same for children.
9. Dogs do funny and adorable stuff every day.
Yeah I hear that kids are pretty hilarious too and say the darnedest things, but dogs can be hilarious as well.
10. Dogs potty train faster than tiny humans.
They are house and potty trained much more quickly than a child. I have nieces, I know how long it takes for my brother and his wife to repeatedly tell their little one good job, once she goes on the toilet. For my new puppy it takes a few weeks, not a few months.
11. You can dress them or leave them naked.
They don't care, it's all socially acceptable. You leave your kid naked and you'll have CYS at your doorstep. You dress them in clothes, and no they don't like what they are wearing.
12. Dogs are easy to please.
One car ride or a day of fetch is Disneyland for any dog. We don't have to go above and beyond to make sure our little bundle of joy is happy because they enjoy the simplicity of things.
Lets just face it, I'll be a dog mom forever, and I am okay with that.
