I'm very much not-white, I've been completely aware of this ever since people started messing up my name. If you're interested, you can read some of my older articles where I go into detail on my identity and how I dealt with it when I was younger. I just thought that a lot of people could potentially find it interesting to read about some of the casual comments I've gotten thrown multiple times throughout my life.
DISCLAIMER: these aren't all offensive, they're just things that I'm tired of being asked, and that only someone in my position would hear.
1. "Can you understand his accent better than us?"
I was at a meeting a few days ago and we were on the phone with a man who had a heavy Indian accent. After the meeting ended, someone turned to me and asked me this. Understandably, I'm probably more used to hearing an Indian accent than anyone else in the room, but I was instantly made fully aware of how I was the only brown person there and that was sort of uncomfortable.2. "Are you a vegetarian for religious reasons?"
3. "Is your future husband going to ride an elephant to your wedding?"
I'm just going to leave this here because I still don't know how to respond to this.
4. "Did your parents have an arranged marriage?"
They didn't, but I mostly hate this question because I'm almost positive of what question I'll get asked next...
5. "Are your parents gonna make you get an arranged marriage?"
I just freaked myself out a little bit thinking of the kind of boy my parents would set me up with if they had the chance. To be honest, I asked my mom this when I was little and she laughed in my face so it's good to know that we're on the same page.
6. "Wow, why can't I hear your dad's accent?"
When I was younger, my friends used to think that my dad was trying to hide his accent, which would really frustrate me. My dad has been living in America for two-thirds of his life, so it's understandable that he's losing his accent. Nonetheless, he's the most desi dad in the world, and is upstairs right now in his sarong and white t-shirt drinking tea and eating biscuits while watching Bangladeshi news. Believe it or not, not all South-Asians that live in America are going to have that stereotypical and annoyingly funny Indian accent.
7. "Cricket or Baseball?"
I wish I could say I cared about either...but I'm not going to deny the fact that I was given a Bangladesh Cricket jersey as a present once and wished it had been socks. A lot of times, I'll get asked this because people are genuinely interested in how cricket works, but I honestly still don't understand the game so good luck.
8. "Can you teach me how to tie a sari?"
No...but can someone teach me? I hate wearing saris because they always fall apart on me at the worst times, but I have two cousins getting married soon and the idea of all of the saris I'll have to wear this year is terrifying.
9. "Can you make me some good Indian food?"
First of all, India is a huge country with a collection of distinct cultures. There is no one type of "Indian food." Second, I'm not even Indian (but I'll admit that if I'm in a group of other Indians, I tend to just say that I am because it's convenient - it's a complicated thing we Indians do), so I wouldn't know where to start. Third, I just learned how to use a rice-cooker so sorry to be the disappointing not-Indian South-Asian.
10. "Do you know *South-Asian name*? He/She lives in the Bay too."
This may come as a shocker, but not all desis know each other. Especially not in one of the largest technological hubs in the world.
11. "Do you like yoga? I feel like you would."
Admittedly, this is something that anyone could be asked. However, whenever I get asked, I either question if my ethnicity has set some high yoga expectations from me, and/or I can see the person who's asked me realizing what they've done and so we both just have to stew in what shouldn't have been such an awkward situation. You don't want me to do yoga with you, I'll give up halfway and sit there staring at everyone.
12. "Can you recommend a Bollywood movie for me?"
I don't like being asked this because I don't love being thought of as some sort of Bollywood expert just because of how I look. It's a lot of pressure. This is such a stressful question because every Bollywood movie is at least two and a half hours, and therefore such an investment. Don't get me wrong, I love Bollywood movies and I definitely had my phase in middle school, but I think the next time someone asks me this, I'll ask them to recommend to me an American movie.
