I don't know what it is about a woman without a ring on her finger, but somehow we give off this vibe that seems to inherently say, "Ask me if I'm dating anyone!" To which my answer is, and has been for the past three years, "No." I have said this with varying degrees of bitterness - currently, there's no bitterness at all. I love being single. If someone came along to change that fact, would I complain? No. But I still love where I'm at. Yet here is the invariable response to my negative reply: "Oh. Well, that's okay."
I know it's okay, people. So here are some responses I've come up with that vary a bit from the usual, "No." I have some serious ones, and some not-so-serious. Enjoy!
"Why? I don't know who the right guy is yet."
It's not that I haven't met him. It's that I don't KNOW WHO HE IS. It's possible that I haven't met him yet. So why should I rush into anything and be looking if I'm not sure?
"Why isn't everyone?"
Seriously. This is a pretty sweet deal, when you think about it.
"I guess I just have incredibly high standards."
This is beneficial, especially if the person inquiring after your singleness is an eager, probably well-meaning young man who is on the verge of expressing interest but doesn't quite fit said standards. Or, on the other hand...
"I read too many books, watch too many movies, and listen to too many love songs to have realistic expectations."
This will at least get an uncomfortable laugh out of the asker when they see that you, too, are laughing. Because Jane Austen proposals, friends.
"I'm too busy to date right now."
Okay, admittedly this is a bit of a double standard. Because if I weren't single, I'd MAKE time. But still, the argument could be made. And in this day and age, if there's one thing people understand, it's being busy.
"So is Tom Holland."
I'm still holding out hope here, guys.
"I never understand the rush to find someone."
Notice the use of present tense. I use that because anyone who knew me five years ago may have grounds to incriminate me for perjury. High school and first half of college Rachel are infinitely different than final half of college Rachel. But seriously, dating is not a Black Friday sale.
"Are you kidding? No man could handle this level of fabulous."
As I trip over my own shoelace.
"I'm waiting on the right one."
I know, it's old, it's cheesy. But old and cheesy are also tried and true. To the slightly cynical response of, "There is no right one!" ...
"You sad, sweet little cinnamon roll of death."
Seriously. I know many happy couples who would beg to differ. Ask me about the shades of gray on that one later.
"Why get ahead of God?"
Again, old, but tried and true. And, speaking of Biblical responses, my personal favorite:
"Well, on the advice of the apostle Paul..."
I cannot take credit for this one, but I love it.
