12 Blatant Lies You Have Probably Told To Yourself

12 Blatant Lies You Have Probably Told To Yourself

Honesty is the best policy, except when it's to yourself.
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Over the years I have come to notice that I am not always 100% honest with myself. Though it's rare, I sometimes get a little ambitious. I call it the "New Year's effect." I make plans to break my bad habits, or to start forming good ones, and I'll get incredibly committed, but only for like an hour, tops. Have you ever been in a gym on New Year's Day?

Everyone and their mother is in there in hopes to stay committed to their New Year's resolution of working out. Well, slowly throughout the year, fewer and fewer people start to show. This is the process I go through at least once a week. So, here are, of what I consider, the most frequent lies that we tell ourselves.

1. "I'm going to start running more"

I usually just run from my responsibilities :).

2. "I'm going to start drinking more of that green smoothie sh*t"

I've already said that exact sentence three times today.

3. "I'm not going to stay up until 2 a.m. tonight"

Yeah, I've already had three glasses of "unhealthy sleeping habits" today.

4. "I'm going to read more and Netflix less"

Reading really is great, but since during the school year college likes to set my brain cells on fire, the possibility of having the free time to read is equivalent to the possibility of me joining the Olympic track team. ( However, if there was a book version of Parks and Rec, I'd definitely read it, but until then.....)

5. "I'm going to drink SO much more water"

Water is SO crucial for survival and living a healthy life. Two drops a day should do.

6. "I'm going to be more organized and clean"

I'm Kevin. My life is the can of chilli.

7. "I'm going to be more social"

Me to any good person or thing that tries to become part of my life.

8. "I'm going to be crafty and make all the cute things that bloggers are always blogging about"

Every time I go on Pinterest I always end up getting convinced that I can make the cute crafts all the soccer moms are blogging about, but then I remember I'm the definition of Pinterest fails.

9. "OK, I'm not spending any more money on food this week"

But 50 cent corndog day at Sonic....

10. "I'm going to travel as much as possible"

Me remembering I'm actually a broke college student, and the only traveling available to me is from school to work.

11. "I'm not going to wait until the night before to study for an exam"

Watching my GPA slip after I waited until the night before the exam to study.

12. "OK, I'm going to go into target and buy only what I NEED"

Walking out of Target, buying everything I havenever needed, ever.
Cover Image Credit: The Walt Disney Company

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10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.
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College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.



There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


ALSO SEE:

Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

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Trying To Understand Odyssey: Why Do You Read This And Why Do I Write It?

A reflection on my motives, your motives and this endearing platform.

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Have you ever thought about how random Odyssey is? I mean, scroll through its main page, or the Odyssey at Emory page. It's a bunch of random college students writing about a bunch of random topics. And apparently, a bunch of random readers. So who are you, and why do you read my articles? And why do I even bother to write them in the first place?

I have been having a really busy semester, and handing in many articles for Odyssey long after they are due. Usually, I end up writing late at night (as I am currently doing) when I really should be sleeping or doing schoolwork. So why do I keep writing? Why don't I give up on this extracurricular activity that doesn't really add that much to my CV, due to me wanting to pursue a career in psychology?

I think it goes back to why I was attracted to Odyssey in the first place – its paradoxical freedom. The two things I most appreciate about the Odyssey is the fact that it makes me write 500 words every two weeks (although I love writing I have no self-discipline), and that I get to choose what I write about. The Odyssey keeps my ideas alive by making me think about things that aren't school in the way that I find to be most productive – through writing.

That covers me, but what about you, reader? I honestly thought no one read Odyssey, but I have access to how many page views my articles have and they are higher than I expected. I think I have two or three friends who read some of my articles, and my mum logs in once in a while, but that doesn't account for all the readers. I imagine some of you are fellow Odyssey writers who, like me, once you hand in a piece you scroll down and see what else is on this platform. And what a random journey it is, to scroll through the Odyssey. You encounter everything, from opinions on current events to pieces that are way too personal to be on the internet (but I admire the brave souls who publish them anyway). Personally, as a student of psychology I am interested in the way people think, so I find it productive to waste my time following the trains of thought of random college students.

But what about you? What do you get from looking at some pieces of my mind? Am I a name you recognize in class and the gossiper in you decided to look at what I think about gun control, or why I keep a diary? Did my article's title grab your attention? Or are you just really bored?

And why are you in Odyssey's website in the first place?

I might question why we are doing what we are doing – me writing and you reading – but I don't question Odyssey as a platform. What an endearing thing, to provide students with the space to write about things that don't really matter but we want to write about anyway. To create a space where I can open up without knowing to whom I am really opening up to, which somehow makes opening up so much easier. So please, reader, let's not stop.

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