Last night I was at a bar in New York City. I was excited to meet new people and explore new places I’ve never been to, however, I was surprised when I realized how similar every bar interaction really is. Everyone has different experiences with different people every night out on the town, but I guarantee that each time you go to a bar you will run into at least a few of these stereotypical party guys.
The Guy That’s “White Girl Wasted”
We all know that one guy who can’t seem to hold his alcohol any better than a girl on her 21st birthday. The difference with guys being this wasted is that his friends will probably encourage more drinking because it’s so entertaining to watch him crash and burn, while we girls usually ask the bartender for a water to try to figure out whether you should sit her in the corner or send her home.
With slits for eyes, he’ll be slurring his words, hanging on everyone, knocking over girls in heels, punching guys in the face and most likely puking his brains out by the end of the night. He’s usually the one who wakes up in the morning newly single and without a dime in his wallet, but still most likely, not regretful.
The Creepy Old Guy
WARNING: Not only found in bars.
I like to call them the COGs, whether they’re going to actually go up to talk to you, or just skulk in the corner and watch you, there’s one at almost every bar you go to once you hit the legal drinking age.
If they do talk to you, they’ll most likely embarrass themselves and say something about the music being too loud to hear you, or compliment how good you look while their sweat drips into their drink. Most likely they’re there just to enjoy the sh*t show we youngins put on at the bars that they wish they were still a part of.
I wonder, are they really here to just secretly chaperone their kids?
The One Who Can’t Take A Hint
Whether he’s trying to get to know you, trying to dance with you, or just trying to buy you drinks in hopes of getting lucky, he’s relentless. He’ll follow you, grab your arm or just come up with something new to say every time you try and walk away. He’s almost like a sad puppy dog, you feel bad but at some point you just have to cut the leash.
The Dancer
Now this is usually one of three. There’s the abnormally good dancer, usually dancing like your Italian grandfather, whipping girls around in circles and suddenly making you smile because he could be your very own Patrick Swayze. Then there’s the one who really needs to get off the dance floor before he hurts himself, or someone else. Whether he doesn’t know he’s horrible or just doesn’t care, someone should stop him before everyone around him loses their drinks to his flailing arms.
There’s also the one that thinks he’s in a hip-hop video, granted the girl he’s dancing with probably does too. You’ll find them grinding in the corner and entertaining the coyer crowd.
The Liars
He’ll literally say anything in order to try and get you back to his house or simply get your number. Sometimes the lies become so exaggerated and unnecessary you’ll end up walking away disgusted, but with liquor in your system you’ll probably be easily convinced that what he’s spitting is true. So, you fall for the lies every once in a while. It’s hard to tell what anyone wants, but if you have no expectations, why not let loose and go with it, you’ll always find the truth in the morning — “No Ragrets”
The Good Guys
Sorry I don’t think I’ve ever met one at the bar, someone else will have to do that article. Just kidding ... kind of.
They’re a rare breed, but I have gained a few good relationships from meeting at the bar. They’re usually hard to read at first, probably because you doubt that a guy’s intention could actually be pure since the majority of bar interactions you wake up remembering were regretful. It’s always a better night if you leave actually having had a real conversation with someone and possibly making a connection, romantic or not.
The PhotoBombers
There are some people who just don’t know where they belong, so, they try to belong everywhere. They’re not really part of your friends group on the daily, but they always seem to sneak in for the fun stuff. Not necessarily always “bombing” photos, but conversations, dances and cab rides too.
The Bubble Poppers
There’s never been a night I didn’t run into one of these guys. They get up in your face and seem to have no sense of personal space, touching your arm or trying to snuggle up to you. I don’t care how loud or crowded it is, you should never be close enough to count the freckles on my face.
The Exes
Aren’t these the best?! Now depending on the way you ended and when, you can have a variety of encounters with these suckers. I think the three most common are as follows;
The ones you’re actually happy to see (is that really possible?)! You didn’t end on horrible terms, and you’re civil and mature about it, you might even have some of the same friends, so why not just get over it and get on with it. Sometimes a romantic relationship can’t work but a friendship can come from it down the line.
The ones you haven’t seen in so long your not really sure if you should go up and talk to them or not, so you’ll most likely take a few shots and say hey in hopes they’re thinking the same or avoid each other awkwardly at all costs. If you choose not to avoid each other, you might realize you both actually still care about each other as people and decide to catch up and reminisce, possibly even rekindle?! From the mouth of Fat Amy — eh, better not.
The ones that you really would just love to throw a drink at. Everyone has at least one ex that becomes an ex for a reason that causes you to not be civil. The sight of them might anger you, but your best bet in dealing with these is to just ignore their attempts to get your attention and enjoy your night. If you’re really over it’s easy to move on with your night, but the initial reaction when noticing each other is always a bit sour.
The Stalkers
“Hey, you work at ___(insert your job here)__ right?”
“ … how did you know that?”
There seems to always be someone who knows way more about you then you know about them. I’m not sure if they think it’s endearing that they know about you before actually personally knowing you, but it’s actually really creepy. If they don’t seem like a stalker by telling you they’ve heard of you, or have seen you here or there, just keep your eyes open. They’re probably watching you from the corner of the room for the rest of the evening.
The Blast From The Past
Whether it was a one-time hook up from high school or an old friend you haven’t seen in ages, these are usually the most fun interactions.
You’ll either realize how much you’ve missed them and try and reconnect or possibly remember why you lost touch in the first place, either way it’s always intriguing to run into someone from your past unexpectedly.
The Desperate
These guys are either, really weird and just can’t figure out women, really drunk and just want to get some action or they just got out of a relationship and are on the prowl to prove that they still “got it.”
Either way, these are the ones who hop from girl to girl. With each deny that he gets his determination builds, and usually, so does his alcohol breath.
