Okay, it could be worse. It could be a lot worse. Still, being flat-chested can be a struggle. Whether you get mistook for a preteen boy, can never find a dress to fit, or have to endure your well-endowed friend's complaining, small boobs provide more than a handful of awkward scenarios. Here are 12:
1. When strapless dresses just fall down your body.
Me: "That's what happened when I put it on."
2. When the dress with straps you try on has a gap that your boobs should fill, but don't.
Yes, I do look like E.T. when this happens. E.T. knows the flat-chested struggles.
3. When low cut shirts make you look like a boy.
Cleavage is tacky anyway, right? Lies my mother tells me.
4. When really any shirt makes you look like a boy.
You try to wear your hair down and buy lots of pink, but sometimes, you just embrace it.
5. When you feel pressured to wear a push-up bra.
You resist initially, but then eventually cave.
6. When your push-up bra can't do anything because there's nothing to push up.
You should've known it was a lost cause.
7. When you bend over and worry you're flashing people because your boobs don't fill out your bra.
But then you remember you have the chest of a little boy, so who will even look?
8. When people think you can just not wear a bra, but that's obviously not how it works.
I'm flat-chested, not a bra burner. Not all flat-chested women are raging feminists (although there is a lot of overlap).
9. When girls complain about how their boobs are "just too big, you know?"
No, I actually don't know, obviously.
10. When everyone assumes you're 12 and just haven't "filled out yet" until you tell them you're 19 and they laugh awkwardly.
Small boobs aren't just for middle school students. I realized that once I got to high school. And then college.
11. When the guy you like claims he prefers butts/legs, but then says his celebrity crush is Kate Upton.
Is Keira Knightley a little flat? Sure. Is Kate Upton? No.
12. No matter how much ice cream you eat, your boobs won't get any bigger.
Your other parts, sure, but not your boobs. Life's cruel, isn't it?