In just a couple of weeks, I’ll be moving into my first apartment. Naturally, I’m excited --I know it’s going to be at least a hundred times better than dorm living. But with all of this excitement also comes a little anxiety, because I’m moving in with two people that I’ve never even met.
My nerves are understandable, and there’s no doubt that others in my position (maybe even my own future roomies) have also imagined a number of terrible scenarios that could play out.
Here are a few concerns you have when you’re about to move in with strangers.
1. Are they going to be ‘normal’?
You probably social media stalked them the moment you got their names (I know I did) and came to the conclusion that either, “Yes, they seem to fit under whatever my definition of normal is.” Or, “Nope -- how hard would it be to back out of this lease?”
2. Am I going to be killed in my sleep?
It’s always the quiet ones, right? Maybe that oh-so-sweet girl living in the bedroom next to you is secretly not so sweet. And what if you wake up at 3 a.m. to said girl standing over you wielding a knife and a malicious grin?
3. What if they eat all my food?
This is probably one of the bigger fears, because it’s much more realistic than a serial killer and much more difficult to handle than an abnormal person. When you imagine this scenario, you may also imagine yourself becoming the crazed killer after discovering that the rest of your Oreos were devoured by a roommate (who didn’t ask first).
4. Are they going to borrow my clothes and ruin them?
Loaning something out every once in a while isn’t a big deal. You know what they say: “two closets are better than one” (or something like that). What is a big deal is having your favorite, warmest jacket, or cute skirt, returned to you ruined. But, hey, maybe your roomies just won’t wear your size and you’ll have nothing to worry about.
5. What if they don’t pay their part of the electricity?
Then one of us has to step in to cover their part, and if we don’t step in, then the electricity is shut off, which is a violation of our lease. Basically, an unreliable roomie would be especially un-ideal when it comes to the electricity payments.
6. What if they "borrow" my things and I happen to never get them back?”
“Oh, yeah, I ran out of shampoo, so I took yours -- that’s cool, right?” But they never give shampoo back.
“Is it cool if I wear this dress? I’m going out tonight and I have nothing to wear.” The dress never appears in your closet again.
“Hey, mind if I borrow your car? Just for like an hour.” Roommate never returns to the apartment, never gives your car back, and is never seen again.
7. What if they’re horribly ignorant people?
And what if they attempt to force their views on you? If this semester becomes a real-life version of the Facebook comments section on a controversial article, how will you ever survive?
8. “What if their friends, boyfriends or girlfriends are the most irritating people on the planet -- and what if they never leave the apartment?”
Hands down -- the worst scenario imaginable.
9. What if they throw loud parties on weeknights while I’m trying to sleep?
Hey, you never know. Some people are really serious about their Margarita Mondays and Tequila Tuesdays and White-Girl-Wasted Wednesdays and Thirsty Thursdays…
10. “What if one of them has a baby?”
And what if it cries all night? And what if she neglects to get up and take care of or quiet the child? And what if the apartment smells like baby poop all the time? It’s frustrating just thinking about it.
11. What if they’re impossible to get along with?
Becoming best friends with your roommates isn’t necessarily a requirement. It would be cool, but if it doesn’t happen, you’ll be just fine. You do, however, probably want to live with people who aren’t fundamentally terrible people whom you can bear to be around for more than a few minutes without going nuts.
12. What if -- all of the above?
With any luck, we’ll all move in with people who are nice but a little sassy, clean but not OCD, and fun but not I-drink-six-days-a-week-and-snort-cocaine fun. Fingers crossed!
