On the first day of Christmas

my mother gave to me:

some wine in a Franzia Box

On the second day of Christmas

my father gave to me:

2 shots of bourbon and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the third day of Christmas

my siblings gave to me:

3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the fourth day of Christmas

my drunk uncle gave to me:

4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the fifth day of Christmas

my grandparents gave to me:

5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the sixth day of Christmas

my best friend gave to me:

6 wine coolers, 5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the seventh day of Christmas

my distant cousin gave to me:

7 shots of rum, 6 wine coolers, 5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the eight day of Christmas

my old room mate gave to me:

8 glasses of whisky, 7 shots of rum, 6 wine coolers, 5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the ninth day of Christmas

my old high school friends gave to me:

9 bottles of brandy, 8 glasses of whisky, 7 shots of rum, 6 wine coolers, 5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the tenth day of Christmas

my college friends gave to me:

10 mugs of eggnog, 9 bottles of brandy, 8 glasses of whisky, 7 shots of rum, 6 wine coolers, 5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the eleventh day of Christmas

my x-lover gave to me:

11 shots of peppermint schnapps, 10 mugs of eggnog, 9 bottles of brandy, 8 glasses of whisky, 7 shots of rum, 6 wine coolers, 5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

On the twelfth day of Christmas

the random guy at 7-11 gave to me:

12 glasses of moonshine, 11 shots of peppermint schnapps, 10 mugs of eggnog, 9 bottles of brandy, 8 glasses of whisky, 7 shots of rum, 6 wine coolers, 5 margaritas, 4 four lokos, 3 crappy beers, 2 shots bourbon, and some wine in a Franzia Box

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT TRY AT HOME!