We have all been in those awkward situations where we don't know whether to thank the person issuing a compliment, or do a meme worthy side-eye and keep walking as if they don't exist. As much as a "compliment" may seem nice, it's really just annoying, unsolicited commentary. If I haven't convinced you yet, just take a look at some of these situations you may have found yourself in, along with some alternatives, to show how to properly compliment another human being.
1. "You look nice, today!"
Alternative: "You look nice."
By including the word "today", you are suggesting that every other day I look like a hobo.
2. "You look so much better in person!"
Alternative: "The camera does not do you justice honey." *snap left, snap right, purse lips*
So, you mean to tell me that after the 674th selfie I took, edited for three hours, and finally chose the perfect filter, I STILL don't look good? You don't think I'm photogenic? There are a plethora of ways this can come out wrong, so, just try to avoid it all together.
3. "You speak so well!"
Alternative: . . .
Do you hear what comes out of your mouth, or is it just a big roaring in your ears? Why on earth would you tell someone they speak well? Unless I am a toddler who is reciting the Constitution, do not tell me I speak well, because, at that point, the question becomes "In comparison to who?" And yes, I stole the first line from Hannah Montana, judge me.
4. "Oh, your outfit is different today!"
Alternative: "I love how unique your style is, you better work it!" *snap left, snap right*
Individuality is prominent in today's society, so complimenting it is okay - just be careful how you do so.
5. "I like your original hair color better! It fits you!"
Alternative: "New hair color? Nice!"
Dyeing one's hair is such a huge commitment and does not always come out the way we intended. If you notice my hair has changed, whether that means a cut, dye, or style, just say it looks nice or don't say anything at all. The hair salon is already a traumatic place, don't make our current location one too.
6. "That's your brother/sister? You guys are soooooo different!"
Alternative: "I would have never guessed you two are related, that's so cool!"
In this situation, you are either saying my sibling is the direct opposite of me, or you're implying that I am the direct opposite of them (in a bad way). Come on, you have never said this "compliment" without thinking that one of the siblings was a full on Amy Schumer train wreck. Either way, our two contrasting personalities don't change the fact that he/she is family and I will smack you if you talk about them, or me.
7. "You're not as dumb as I thought!"
Alternative: "It's a refreshing change of pace to be around someone so intelligent"
Simple enough.
8. "Good things come in small packages!"
Alternative: . . .
This one just doesn't cut it.
9. "You (insert verb here) really well, for a (insert sex here)!"
Alternative: "You're so good at that! Could you maybe teach me sometime?"
Whether it's "you run really fast, for a girl", or "You clean up pretty nice, for a boy". You cannot go about this in the right way whatsoever, which brings me to my next point . . .
10. "You clean up pretty nice!"
Alternative: "Stunning, as always!"
Basically, you are implying that every other day you see me I am not properly groomed, nor do I look satisfactory according to your standards. Who are you again?
11. "You look much nicer without your glasses!"
Alternative: "Wow, you can totally pull off both looks!"
I think I look better without glasses too, because then I can't see your face. Visit your local watering hole to add some water to that burn.
12. "I wish I could be as confident as you were to wear that!"
Alternative: "I'm such a loser."
Seriously? It does not take confidence to wear what I am wearing, as if I need some sort of personality trait to help me in my fashion choices. You are also suggesting that I need confidence to wear what I'm wearing because it is either tacky, or not your taste. Either way, keep it to yourself.
I hope these helped you as much as they've helped the people on the receiving ends. If you ever find yourself about to say one of these, think twice, because it's honestly just condescending.
