Sometimes it may feel as if your vocabulary, especially in the insult department, is getting a little monotonous, and when this happens you should spice it up a bit! You could bring in some of that hip, new lingo the kids use these days, that you most likely have no idea what it means, or you could look to some classic literature - from works of Shakespeare to classic children's novels, there is an insult, jab, or comeback for every situation.
1. "Maltida" by Ronald Dahl
You blithering idiot! You festering gumboil!"
2. "Murder on the Orient Express" by Agatha Christie
"If you will forgive me for being personal - I do not like your face."
3. "As You Like It" by William Shakespeare
"I desire that we better strangers."
4. "Lucky Jim" by Kingsley Amis
"You bloody old towser-faced boot-faced totem-pole on a crap reservation."
5. "Mort" by Terry Pratchett
"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,' he said. Have you thought of going into teaching?"
6. "The Importance of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde
"The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me."
7. "Fellowship of the Ring" by J.R.R. Tolkien
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
8. "Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens
"You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard a crumb of cheese, a fragment of undone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!"
9. "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett
"Eat my shit."
10. "Macbeth" by William Shakespeare
"You should be women and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so."
11. "A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess
"Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou."
12. "King Lear" by William Shakespeare
"Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver'd, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in a way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mungril bitch."
You have everything you could possibly need here - cut downs, come backs, bold one-liners, and the ever descriptive Shakespearean slurs. When you're feeling like your sass game is a little dry, turn to your favorite literary classics and you might find the perfect parring of cut-throat words to suit your needs!
