When I landed in Pittsburgh after spending 10 days in the Dominican Republic last May, I didn't feel relief, but confusion. There might have been some relief in thinking about a warm, long shower, or a full night's rest, but not the type of relief I was expecting. For me, I felt confusion -- a sense of, "Where do I go from here?"
It is commonly said it is amazing what God can do during a mission trip, but I like to think it's amazing to see what God can do after a mission trip, because that is where true growth comes both in one's personal relationship with God and in one's relationships with other people.
There are many lessons I have learned in the last eight months reflecting on my experience in the Dominican Republic.
Listening is powerful.
Oftentimes, there is a stereotype about missions. We're told that we go to serve and to teach the gospel. That is true, but it's not all we should do. We can often learn more from listening than from speaking. It is important that we show our love for our friends here on campus, our friends at home, and our family. Listening is an easy way to show love. Understand that a friendship is not all about the talking, or giving advice, but works best when each person seeks to listen to the other.
Sometimes, actions do speak louder than words.
It is hard to make a blanket statement on this because people respond to love in different ways. I learned, however, that actions were important in the Dominican Republic because of the language barrier between the children and me. Often, spending time with them was simply enough to make an impact, because they only sought love and attention. Sometimes, it's not about the talking, but simply about being there. Studying or going for a run with a friend. Showing that you care with little notes on their desk or in their mailbox. There are small things we can do every day to show others we love them.
Be open.
In a foreign country, it is important to express your concerns and take time to reflect on how you are doing individually. You also need to be sure that you are being open with your friends, ensuring that they are doing well, and helping them when they are not. I think it is key to any friendship that friends are willing to be vulnerable and to share worries and fears with one another.
Don't spread yourself too thin.
I learned this lesson during my 10-day trip because there were days I did not feel up to running around with the kids. I didn't always perform my best on some days because I was trying to do everything, and I found out that it's OK to take some time for yourself when this happens. Grove City pushes us to be involved in a lot of activities in order to build a strong resume. But rather than lead eight different organizations, maybe just be an active member of four. This allows you to dedicate all of your time to your activities instead of scrambling to do the work for each extracurricular. This is an important way to love yourself.
Ask for help.
In the DR, I learned that I needed my leaders and the translators at the site for various situations. Here, we have parents, coaches, and mentors available for us to go to when there is a situation you are nervous about or if there is a big decision to be made. There is no shame in not knowing what to do, and it's always better to ask for help than to make an impulsive choice you'll regret later.
Be your best self.
If there is one single, most important thing I learned from my ICO experience, it is that every day you must wake up without any baggage. Yesterday is over, and tomorrow is tomorrow's problem. You need to be your best self when you wake up every day, whether on a mission trip or on campus. Wake up with a clean slate for yourself, and your friends.
Be willing to engage.
In any relationship, it is important to give your all. Friends can tell when you're not trying, and it can be frustrating to someone on that end of the deal. Friendships are maintained best when both parties are fully dedicated to making the friendship work out, not one person dragging behind the other. I learned to engage in new activities, and step out on a few limbs during my time in the DR, and I'm so glad I did. It can be rewarding to feel exhausted at the end of a hard day of work!
Love unconditionally.
Love everyone, even people you wouldn't expect to form a relationship with. I developed a wonderful friendship with one of the translators on my trip, and we still keep in contact. He is one of my best friends and a great encouragement to me! Love is key to being able to serve God best on campus or on an ICO trip. It is hard to love unconditionally every day, but make an effort to work hard at loving those who seem unlovable.
Constant support.
Support can come in many ways, and support is not only for other people. This includes yourself. Just as God supports us with physical and spiritual nourishment, so must we support ourselves and our friends with encouragement, prayer, and time. I never could have served in the DR without the help of some of my now-best friends who went on the trip with me.
Selflessness.
We all tend to be selfish at times, and we need to get over that. We are called to be of God, for God, and like God. We are made in His image to do wonderful works, and we can't do those wonderful works if we are engaged in them for our own personal benefit. You cannot go on a mission trip simply for the cute pictures afterwards and the good impression you have made. Life is not about us, it is about God and how we serve others in His name.
Take the time.
Take time. For God, your church, your family, your friends, and yourself. There may not seem to be enough time for all of this in one day, but make an effort to reach out to those around you on a daily basis. Get a monthly meal, write a letter to a friend at another school, send encouraging verses, cook a meal, or spend time in the Word. Any or all of these are great ways to give some time to those who can be your encouragement and strength along the way.
