It's completely understandable to feel like you're buried 6 feet under during finals week. You obviously haven't been doing your work all semester (and props to you if you even made it to half of your classes). Your professors are evil. They are all out to get you. They want you to fail. You're broke, overcaffeinated, malnourished, sleep-deprived, and completely over all of this. But, unless your grandma dies or you have a stress-induced heart attack, you're not getting out of the inevitable doom of taking finals. You might as well prep for them the right way.
1. Make sure that your parents know how stressed you are so that they send you a generous care package.
Homemade desserts and a Starbucks gift card? Now you can get fat AND fail!
2. Tag your friends in memes about how you should be studying but aren't.
10-15 memes per day. Minimum. Get obsessive. Bombard all of your friends' feeds with dumb memes about college life that have subtle undertones of serious mental health conditions you really should be seeking help for.
3. Nap.
You can dream that you are succeeding and that's basically the same thing.
4. Spontaneously upload all 517 cute pictures from this semester in a single Facebook post so that everyone knows how cool you and your friends are.
It'll help balance out all the memes and your aunt's political rants, and bring back this dying social networking site to what it used to be. #BringPhotosBackToFacebook
5. Focus on your summer body.
It's not too late! Jenny Craig and I believe in you. And who needs good grades when you can just be a trophy wife?
6. Research medical school statistics.
That 3.7 science GPA just isn't going to happen, so there's no need to even try. You've failed at achieving your lifelong dream. But don't feel bad. We can't all be Meredith Grey.
7. Play Bo Burnham's "Sad" on repeat.
At least this way you can laugh at the tragedy that is your life.
8. Remember all those times people told you how smart you are.
They couldn't all be lying to you. And smart people succeed. Ergo, you must succeed. Problem solved. No studying needed.
9. Hang out with your friends.
BECAUSE YOU WON'T SEE THEM FOR SO LONG AND THEIR FRIENDSHIPS MEAN MORE TO YOU THAN ANY GRADE.
10. Post artsy Snapchat stories of your cute study space.
Take time out of your already overbooked day to rearrange and capture your laptop, binder, colorful assortment of pens, flashcards, and $5.00 coffee into the perfect photo. Don't forget the geotag so you can be tracked down in the case of an emergency. And checking who has viewed it is a great little study break.
11. Stay on the internet.
It's a well-known fact that the Internet helps you focus on what you need to get done. So watch that video of animals acting like humans. You earned it!
