Believe it or not, I am a Mexican woman. Yet, so many people have come to me and assumed that I am Polish/German/South African/literally anything else because my last name is Hable. This is despite the fact that I can speak fluent Spanish, regularly write back and forth with my family in Spanish on my Facebook, and had a freaking quinceañera (it was under the sea themed and totally bomb, you should have been there). When I tell people my big secret, I inevitably hear one of these 11 things. On behalf of all Mexican girls, please stop saying these 11 things to us.

1. But you look so white!

That's just because I'm a shut-in.

2. Are you...you know...here legally?

I was born in New York. Yeah, really.

3. Are you super religious?

Yeah, I walk around with my Santeria candles all day. Just like that woman from "Orange is the New Black."

4. How do you feel about Donald Trump?

I'm here legally. I mentioned that, right?

5. What's the most ~~*authentic*~~ Mexican restaurant around here?

Taco Bell. Yeah, really.

6. Can I practice my Spanish on you?

Si, soy una diccionaria. No soy una persona. Como te llamas? Donde esta la playa?

7. Where are you really from?

New York? The east coast? America? Earth? The Milky Way galaxy?

8. Oh that's great! I can't live without tacos!

Me neither! Because I'm Mexican, I am legally required to eat them every day! I would literally starve to death without them!

9. Anything involving the word "mami"

This is kind of like girls and the word "bitch." It's funny if we say it amongst ourselves. It's not funny if you say it to us. "AY MAMI CAN I GET DAT NUMBER?"

10. Your English is really good!

Thanks! I learned it in New York! Where I was born!

11. Why are you so loud all the time?

Actually, if you figure this one out, please let me know. I'd like to know too.