Did you know that one in four people are affected by mental illness? As someone who lives with both depression and anxiety, and knowing many other individuals who live with it as well, I felt like it was time to write about what you (someone not living with mental illness) should know. I get that there is a huge stigma on talking about mental illness, and I really wish there wasn't. There's so many people who genuinely think there's nothing “wrong” with us and that it’s “all in our head”. If it's something we're making up, why are there medications we take? Why is there a diagnosis? Please tell me. If it's all in my head, then why is it out of my control? At 21-years-old, I caved in and got help. I knew many people who had been getting help via therapy and medication since they were teenagers, and decided it was time to get help myself. I've been wanting to address mental health awareness for a long time. Outside of writing for Odyssey, I have my own blog and I've written about mental health before, and had people asking me to write about it even more. Since it's May, the National Mental Health Awareness month, I thought it was only fitting. Here are some things we would like you to know:
1. Be patient with us.
We understand that it can be difficult to hang out with us when we don’t know what we want to do, or what to eat, or how to feel. It’s not something we can control.
2. When we’re having anxiety, we will get quiet.
A lot of the times when anxiety comes over us, we don’t know what’s causing it. Either we’re out eating and just don’t want to be out in public, or we can be watching a movie and be flooded with anxiety. It just happens.
3. Please don’t feel sorry for us.
The last thing we want is pity. Don’t feel sorry for us because we live with this illness. A lot of people do (millions actually), and knowing we're not alone is the most reassuring feeling in the world.
4. The difference between sympathy and pity.
We just want your support, love, and patience. As our friends and family, we know you care, but when you show it, it's that much better. Sometimes people need to know they're still accepted by their friends and family.
5. We can’t always control our moods.
For a lot of people, they don’t know what their trigger is. Sometimes a trigger can be a person, a sound, a smell, or even moving your head too fast. We can be in the happiest of moods, but the minute anxiety happens, we shut down. When we do shut down it’s to try and regather ourselves. Give us time to calm down.
6. We are not our mental illness.
Just because we have depression, doesn’t mean we’re “depressed people”. Depression just kind of happens. It’s the voice in the back of your head that says, “oh you’re enjoying yourself? Let’s change that real quick.” We don’t let it define us, so don’t think it does.
7. We don’t “suffer”, we live.
Personally, I hate when I hear, “I feel bad for people who suffer with mental illness.” We don’t. We live with it. We continue going on about our lives. It’s just a small piece of us. That’s also why a lot of people with mental illness won’t share that they do because they don’t want people to only think about that part of them.
8. We will feel alone no matter how much attention we're given.
I can be in a room full of people, full of excitement and fun, and still feel like I'm the only one there.
9. Eating disorders are also mental.
It's nothing we can "snap" out of. If there's no appetite, don't force me to eat right now.
10. We're getting help to get better.
Not to justify our illness. Seeking professional help is the best step to getting better. Nowadays everyone thinks they're a doctor. The next person to tell me that I "don't need to take pills to get better" will get rocks thrown at them. If you aren't: 1. a doctor or 2. my doctor, then take a seat. This is my illness, I think I know a thing or two about it.
11. We don’t always want to talk about it.
Don’t be offended when we don’t want to talk about it because quite frankly, we don’t even know how to explain how we’re feeling. Nine times out of 10, we don’t even know what’s wrong.
The next time you're with someone living with mental illness, don't treat them like they're a thin glass vase that's ready to break. We aren't that fragile. I also don't want anyone to feel like they're walking on egg shells around us. We're regular people too, so treat us that way. Let's stop the stigma of mental health.
