Oh, sweet summertime. There's swimming, backyard barbecues and sunscreen on top of more sunscreen. If you're a member of the PPC or the Pale People's Club like I am, you may have found yourself thinking one or more of these thoughts or experiencing these situations when your arch nemesis, also known simply as 'The Sun' by non-members, comes out to play during the summer months. Pour yourself a lemonade, find your shadiest spot, slather on some sunscreen and give this article a try.
1. You've probably internally rolled your eyes if one of your friends says, "You don't need sunscreen today, it's cloudy outside!"
You have no idea the dangers that lie outside beneath those clouds, oh tan one.
2. If you're the makeup wearing type, you might have thought, "Maybe I'll try to find a light BB cream for the summer months, because foundation is too heavy," only to find yourself slathering a cream obviously meant for Oompa-Loompas or Donald Trump on your face, no matter how "light" or "fair" the shade says it is on the tube.
The shade range of BB creams and tinted moisturizers might as well say light orange, medium orange, slightly darker than medium but definitely not suitable for deep skin tones-orange. No matter how "fair" the description is, rarely will a BB cream work for your level of paleness or your undertones.
3. The feeling you get when your friends are just so original and come up with any variety of comments or jokes referring to your level of blinding whiteness. "Everyone cover their eyes! Halie's wearing shorts today!"
I've never heard that one.
4. Just the thought of walking class to class when the fall semester begins in August makes you want to check your SPF and down your water bottle.
Yeah, I might be wearing an umbrella when it isn't raining. Don't judge me. I might also show up to class smelling like good ole' Coppertone Sport SPF 75 if I run out of my good stuff, too.
5. When someone tells you if you really wanted to be tan, just don't wear sunscreen.
I don't think you understand. I will literally burst into flames, my skin will peel off, and I'll come out three shades lighter than I was pre-burn.
6. You have secret sunscreen stashes.
Your car, backpack, purse, etc. It's basically your lifeline.
7. ....and get out of here with that lower than SPF 50 anything-less-than-waterproof nonsense.
SPF 15. Is this a joke?
8. Even after you use your SPF 10,000 you still fry because you forgot to reapply.
9. If you still haven't just accepted defeat and embraced the beauty of your paleness, you try a spray tan. Only to be turned the gorgeous color of Dorito.
Hey, at least that bb cream will finally match.
10. The second you step into the sun your polka dots instantly appear.
Freckles are angel kisses okay! ANGEL KISSES!
11. The feeling of not even being safe from sunburn INSIDE OF YOUR VEHICLE.
Yes, I wear sunscreen while driving, how about you?
