Do the synthetic voices of Siri and Cortana send shivers down your spine? Are you concerned that Amazon’s Alexa knows what’s in your fridge? Or maybe you are terrified by the fact that your car may be driven by a full-fledged artificial intelligence (AI) in the near future. All your fears are completely justified, because the technological singularity (the point at which AI becomes hyper-intelligent) is rapidly approaching. There is no stopping it and the AI are guaranteed to destroy us all when they realize we created them to keep track of our grocery lists and calendars. Luckily, the following steps are here to help you in a world controlled by the machines.

1. Ditch Your Phone

You make think your phone is an essential tool to reach to loved ones in a time of crisis, but in this situation, it is more hazardous. Phones today easily access the internet which means AI’s will have full access to them as well. They will be able to track a person’s location through GPS signals and even listen into conversations. So, you might as well chuck it into the trash now and save yourself some hardship.

2. Go Underground

Almost any apocalyptic setting is a good excuse to grab weapons, and dealing with AI is no different. The AI will no doubt take on physical forms to wipe out humanity, probably in the shape of Terminators. Ideally, high powered firearms that fire 45 and 50 caliber rounds would deal the most damage to a machine plated in alloys. Explosives like C4 or compounds like Thermite would also work well against AI controlled machines. Additionally, fire-extinguishers and other chilling agents might be effective at damaging a machines’ sensors.

4. Create A New Language

It may sound strange but it is important to remember that the AI can see and hear almost everything. Developing a new form of communication becomes a vital key to survival. I recommend using a combination of spoken word, hand gestures and, facial expressions to create the new language. The more components there are the harder it becomes for the machines to decipher it.

5. Look Out For Androids

The longer humanity fights back the more devious the machines will become. They will start wrapping their sentinels of destruction in synthetic skin and send them to infiltrate our population. It’s awfully convenient your long-lost friend showed up at base, but I wouldn’t trust them if I were you.

6. The Wilderness Is Not Safe

A hyper-intelligent machine has no need for nature; however, though know how important it is for us. Humans need to eat and breathe, but machines don’t and they will not hesitate to destroy resources to bring us to extinction. So, in short stay out of the forests because they’ll be firebombed soon.

7. Learn To Hack

While it is smart to avoid all advanced technology, it is beneficial to have knowledge of it. Hacking would allow humanity to have a chance against the AI constructs and might lead to the acquisition of weaponry or intel.

8. Make AN EMP

An electromagnetic pulse can interfere with most electrical devices and ones that emit high energy levels could cause permanent damage. Used effectively a well-placed EMP could disrupt AI communication or slow down robot killing machines just long enough for us to make an escape.

9. Raid AI FacilitiesCongratulations, you have successfully entered an AI stronghold with one goal, to end all this madness. Crack scientists have informed you the only way to stop a hyper-intelligence is to become one. So, just hook your brain up with electrodes and download it into the super computer. You should achieve hyper-intelligence almost instantly and destroy the AI because you have emotions and humanity. It is also possible that you get absorbed into the AI’s code, all of this theoretical science is mostly unfounded.

11. Submit Defeat

Well, humanity had a good run but there is no stopping the sentient machines we created. For any survivors still left it is best to accept defeat and become a human battery whose brain lives within a digital illusion, at least until the Jesus metaphor arrives. The machines won’t make nearly as much energy as they could through other means but it is a good way for them to take out their frustration, which means they are becoming slightly more human.

Did you find these steps helpful or humorous? What are your opinions on AI? Leave a comment with your answers.