When most people look back on the college application process, they remember it dominating their senior year. Some weeks it may have been stressful, but you found a way to make it through: heck the applications themselves may have motivated you to do better in school.

I am a freshman in college, but I am currently reapplying to college. It's a long and complicated story, but here's how its made me feel.

Stage 1. Being afraid to tell people you want to transfer.

"What if they will judge me? What if they don't want to be friends with me knowing I want to leave?"

Stage 2. Explaining to everyone why you truly want to transfer.

Yes, I do like it here, but when you've wanted one thing for so long you can't just give up on it.

Stage 3. I've already filled out this application, it'll be easy this time.

Stage 4. I've already had three cups of coffee, it's a good time to crunch out a college essay.

Stage 5. "Mom I'm still basically a child and don't trust my caffeine brain can you proofread my essay?"

Stage 6. Oh crap I have to get letters of recommendation from high school teachers I haven't spoken to in months.

Stage 7. "Sorry I can't go out tonight, I have an essay. No there isn't one due for class. I have another one..."

Stage 8. Everything I write is garbage, I just need to stop. They didn't let me in the first time, the second is one big joke.

Stage 9: Why am I doing this to myself?!

I have multiple exams, labs, and quizzes this week, and I've willingly put more work on my plate? I really just want some sleep.

Stage 10. Oh yeah, that is why I'm doing this to myself.

I have wanted one thing since I was 14 years old. No matter how much it may suck today, I'm not planning on letting anything stand in my way.

Stage 11. I'M DONE

Now all I can do is hope, pray, dream, cross my fingers, cross my toes, wish on stars and wishbones and at the end of the day hope that the next steps fall into place.