11 Reasons Why You Should Give Up on Ed Sheeran

Aug 09, 2014

Because he's just gone public with his girlfriend, and now we're all officially out of the running forever and ever the end. #fml

Shortly after putting my heart and soul into an article that so eloquently expressed my love for Ginger Jesus, a photo of his (notably pale) self and his girlfriend was posted on her Instagram. And now we're all screwed.

1. Her name is Athina Andrelos, which gives her

a) points for alliteration, and

b) points for an uber cool first name, despite the unusual spelling, and

c) put some Windex on it

Author's Note: I myself have a weird first name if that counts for anything. Just sayin'.

2. She likes food so much that she's made it a part of her career. Athina works for THE Jamie Oliver and posts photos of the delicious food HE HIMSELF HAS COOKED FOR HER all the time. Because dating Ed wasn't enough, clearly.

Author's Note: I myself have an addiction to good food and a website dedicated to my eating adventures (tastingwithtansu.com) as does she (athinalovesfood.tumblr.com)

3. She actually appears to be a ton of fun and absolutely hilarious. She posts videos of her lip synching with grills on, dancing around like a maniac in public, and attending 1D concerts. So SHE ISN'T EVEN BASIC AND WE CAN'T EVEN HATE HER.

Author's Note: I myself have been known to crack jokes once in a while and may or may not be a closeted 1D fan.

4. She's gorgeous. Even got away with one of those make-up free selfies. You know, the kind that 1 in 19547389753895 people can get away with?

Author's Note: ...none. Cannot compete.

5. She's Greek, so to a purebred Brit like Ed I'm sure that's seen as "exotic."

Author's Note: I myself am an Indian and have been called "exotic" until I've opened my mouth, and people hear my American accent. But still.

6. Although she's Greek she's probably a Brit-born Greek so she and Ed have their accents and general culture in common

Author's Note: I spent the first six years of my life in England so that counts for something... right?

7. She actually talks to Ed's fans on Instagram saying things like "Ed should bring you with him on our next vaca!"

Author's Note: ...none. Cannot compete.

8. She likes dogs. It says so in her bio. So it's fact.

Author's Note: I myself love dogs. Mostly my own.

9. She has an obsession with Beyoncé. Every other photo is a pic of the Queen or Athina herself at one of Bey's concerts.

Author's Note: I myself happen to be attending Bey and Jay's concert in Pasadena tonight. #OnTheRunTour

10. She has a photo of the Swedish chocolate "Daim" which virtually no one knows about, but I happen to be OBSESSED with and pay $12 for every time I go to Ikea. So she's EVEN CHOCOLATE SAVVY.

Author's Note: I myself love Daim. I love Daim. Did I not make it clear above? Because I really, really love Daim.

11. She isn't afraid to make fun of herself. She has a "leave Justin alone" parody video posted on her Insta with noooo regrets.

Author's Note: I myself am single for a reason. I post some strange stuff on Insta just for the lulz because might as well.

All in all she is an upgraded version of me so RIP Tansu Sheeran (but long live this relationship because they just may be my favorite couple in all the universe)

Let's be real, when I'm in Greece this fall and London this Christmas, I'll be much more pumped to run into this lovely and lucky lady than lil' ole' Ed. Sorry, bud.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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11 Reasons Why You Should Give Up on Ed Sheeran

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The temperature may not be very Autumn-like, but these playlists sure are.

1. Southern Gothic

2. Autumn Acoustics

3. Autumn Leaves

4. Deep Dark Indie

5. Dreamy Fall

6. Halloween Hipster

7. Wanderlust

8. Your Favorite Coffeehouse

... Because life happens

1. Realizing there's no more toilet paper when it's already too late.

2. Making a cup of coffee in the morning and forgetting it in the car.

3. Pushing doors that say pull.

4. When you hear people chew.

5. When it's really quiet in a room and you hear that one person breathing like they just ran a marathon.

6. Grabbing a chocolate chip cookie, only to realize it's actually oatmeal raisin.

7. Getting comfortable in bed and then realizing you forgot to pee/turn off the light.

8. That one aunt/uncle that just always gives you that creepy vibe.

9. When your teacher makes you buy a textbook that you never even crack open.

10. Continuing to open and reopen the fridge until the food that you want magically makes its way in there.

11. Walking into a room and then automatically forgetting why you went in there.

12. People that drive without using their blinker.

13. When you have really slow wi-fi.

14. People who feel the need to scream into their phones as if the other person can't hear them.

15. The world's obsession with the Kardashian/Jenner families.

16. Advertisements before Youtube videos.

17. When people read over your shoulder.

18. A-holes that park in the handicapped spots when they, in fact, not handicapped.

19. People who cut in line.

20. The LIRR/MTA

21. Being stuck behind someone who is walking painfully slow.

22. When people smoke cigarettes right in front of the entrance to the building you have to walk into.

23. When boys think it's cool to treat girls like crap.

24. Guys that still go to high school parties even though they've been out of high school for years.

25. Celebrities that are obviously lip-syncing.

26. How you need a scissor to get the scissor out of its package.

27. When people text using that stupid "voice text" function.

28. Telling someone you can't hear them, so they use the same exact volume and just repeat what they said.

29. When someone gets in the shower right as you were about to get in the shower.

30. Saying "What?" for some reason, even though you heard what the person said.

31. When you're in a rush but the light is red.

32. Cashiers putting your change down on the counter instead of in your hand.

33. The people that go up to order food to the cashier but are still continuing their phone conversation.

34. That awkward time in the fall when it's freezing in the morning but stifling in the afternoon.

35. Emailing your professor a long winded paragraph about a problem you are having and they email back, "Sure."

36. Guys who put their car as their profile picture on Facebook.

37. Girls who have "X Years Young." in their Instagram bios.

38. Trying to find the beginning to a roll of tape.

39. When people drive your car and adjust your mirrors/seat.

40. People that talk during the movie.

41. People that decide to engage in conversation right in the middle of the hallway/sidewalk.

42. When someone says, "no offense," and then continues to say something offensive.

43. People that pop their significant others pimples.

44. Teacher's pets.

45. Going to the bathroom and someone goes into the stall right next to you.

46. When someone leaves your room and doesn't shut the door.

47. Political debates between two people who know nothing about politics.

48. When you get all ready to go out and your friend cancels plans.

49. People that drop their friends for their significant other.

50. People that don't like animals.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Things to do in October.

1. Going to haunted houses with friends.

2. Going to Halloween parties with friends or families or both.

3. We all enjoy going to apple orchards to pick apples and to eat donuts with apple cider.

4. When you are younger or through high school, you go trick or treating in various of costumes going door to door saying "trick or treat" and you get candy or whatever they are giving you for Halloween.

5. Another fun part of October is to go to corn mazes which are sometimes fun and hard to do with friends and family.

6. Back in elementary school, we had Halloween Parties where homeroom parents were the ones who planned them for Halloween.

7. Another event that happens during the month of October is Halloween Nights at the Henry Ford in the evenings.

8. The types of candy and food that are popular during Halloween time are candy corn, caramel apples and many other fun foods.

9. I love Halloween and get to see all the interesting and fun costumes that the kids wear which is so amazing and awesome.

10. Listening and performing in Halloween concerts which are fun and get to dress up as well.

11. Carving pumpkins are always fun to carve because you get to do it with your family and friends.

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10. “Still Can’t…” from “Everyone Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?”

9. “How” from “Everyone Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?”

8. “Twenty One” from “No Need To Argue”

7. “Ridiculous Thoughts” from “No Need To Argue”

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