Clearwater Beach in Pinellas county, Florida, recently topped the list of best beaches in America. As a Clearwater native, I was shocked. In fact, so was everyone else that I spoke to from the beloved Tampa Bay area of Florida's west coast. Clearwater beach may have beautiful white sand, but here are a few reasons why it is not the number one beach in America.
1. It takes an hour to get over the bridge.
If you are from Pinellas county, you know that to make it to the sand during prime sun time, you have to leave your house by or before 10:30 a.m. After that, you will be stuck on the bridge with every other tourist -- and naive locals -- trying to make it to the beach before 3 p.m.
2. The round about is a death trap.
Clearwater beach-goers dread the infamous roundabout. By the time drivers get to it, they are angry from excess traffic so their driving is erratic at best. In addition, new high school drivers (or snow birds) cannot seem to figure out who has the right of way and when it is their turn to enter or exit.
3. And once you do make it through all of the traffic, parking is no where to be found.
Clearwater beach has no parking. Period. Now, the truly committed beach goers know where the good (sometimes free) spots are, but like I said, they are all pretty much gone by 10:30 a.m. The Frenchy's parking lot has the most spots, but in the summer you are likely to drive around for 30 minutes to an hour waiting for someone to leave. When in doubt, just give up and drive a little bit longer to Sand Key where you will find guaranteed parking.
4. Once you do find parking, you will pay a fortune.
If you find a meter spot, be thankful. You will still probably end up paying $10 for a couple hours, but it's better than paying $20-plus to the annoying guys waving signs.
5. It is always crowded.
You don't go to Clearwater beach to be alone with the ocean, get away from the world, and relax. Unless you are aware of the (somewhat) quieter parts of the beach, you will be surrounded by tourists smothered in sunscreen under tasteless rainbow umbrellas.
6. You are guaranteed to see someone that you know.
Not only are there tourists everywhere, but you are guaranteed to see all 650 members of your high school class trying to find room to spread out their beach towel.
7. Tourist. Shops.
Need I say more?
8. You have to make a reservation for your favorite restaurants hours in advance.
But, most of them don't take reservations. At best, you will be put on a "waiting list", but by the time you make it through all of the traffic and find a parking spot, your name will have made it to the top of the list and then back down to the bottom a half of a dozen times.
9. There are no waves.
Unless a tropical storm / hurricane is on its way, the Gulf of Mexico has zero wave activity. While some may enjoy the calm, there is just something about surfing that adds to the feel of a good beach town.
10. The pier is just...a pier.
Yes, there may be interesting men on stilts throwing things in the air on the pier on weekends, but for the most part, Pier 60 is just like any other pier. There is nothing notable about the stretch of pavement that hangs over the water. At least, nothing that makes it stand out from every other pier in America.
11. It's home.
At the end of the day, Clearwater beach is our home. It is where we grew up and spent every second of the summer (fall, winter and spring). We don't have to travel far to see it and so, we forget to be attentive to its beauty. The number one beach in America may have its flaws, but at least we can proudly boast that it is the place we call home.
