11 Reasons Why The Notebook Is The Worst
Start writing a post

11 Reasons Why The Notebook Is The Worst

You're a bird. I'm a bird. Everyone's a bird.

11 Reasons Why The Notebook Is The Worst
Athena Cinema

For 19 years of my life, I managed to get away with never watching the most beloved romance movie of my generation. This was the movie that all of my friends made their Axe-drenched, sweaty-palmed boyfriends watch with them in middle school, in hopes that it would awaken their inclinations towards romance. Since my (very smart) parents forbade me from dating in middle school, as well as watching PG-13 movies, "The Notebook" was never a part of my life. Later on in life, I began to hate the sticky-sweet tearjerker movies that characterized my gender’s fantasies, and I swore I would never watch "The Notebook" ever. However, my sophomore year in college, some friends of mine finally convinced me to watch it and I have many thoughts. Unpopular opinion: "The Notebook" is the worst, and here are 11 reasons why:

1. Birds. Why?

The bird motif is so plain in this movie because it's only thrown in our faces every five seconds. Like, we get it. Noah and Allie are birds. Birds are important.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F30%2F635975900408013686-165323017_notebook%2520-%2520birds2.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=914&h=df8e1aaea7a3791af28d74aeec9008b820e3c681cc99c50d23ca87b7b59b910e&size=980x&c=288808100 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F30%252F635975900408013686-165323017_notebook%252520-%252520birds2.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D914%26h%3Ddf8e1aaea7a3791af28d74aeec9008b820e3c681cc99c50d23ca87b7b59b910e%26size%3D980x%26c%3D288808100%22%7D" expand=1]

2. The suicidal tendencies of the main characters that are introduced pretty early on in the movie

Not only does Noah a) threaten to kill himself if this hottie doesn't agree to go out with him, he also b) attempts to be ~spontaneous~ and ~adventurous~ by convincing Allie that lying down in the middle of the road and waiting for a car to come is a very romantic thing to do and not at all insane.

3. Allie's constant screaming

I'm surprised Ryan Gosling didn't go deaf after shooting this movie. I'm starting to get why Allie convinced that she's a bird, because she literally screeches and flails her arms around like a manic parrot throughout the entire film. Plz stop.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F30%2F635975904014817858694491579_notebook%2520screaming.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=946&h=8f86dae021a62543d0b0575e4d15096ea7aede95b1aa4d1a2bcd86ca8c5232e4&size=980x&c=1433466678 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F30%252F635975904014817858694491579_notebook%252520screaming.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D946%26h%3D8f86dae021a62543d0b0575e4d15096ea7aede95b1aa4d1a2bcd86ca8c5232e4%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1433466678%22%7D" expand=1]

4. The romanticizing of men refusing to take no for an answer

Fact: When a woman says "no," this (90% of the time) does not mean "pester me until I say yes." Both Noah AND Lon need a stern talking-to in this respect.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F30%2F635975907475955278821701032_notebook%2520no.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=833&h=e739e6058c0f34c824081e5c3fc19b8961b94122b0dad256f71c9773e41b886e&size=980x&c=2025491144 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F30%252F635975907475955278821701032_notebook%252520no.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D833%26h%3De739e6058c0f34c824081e5c3fc19b8961b94122b0dad256f71c9773e41b886e%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2025491144%22%7D" expand=1]

5. Speaking of which, Noah encourages Allie to do what she wants several times throughout the movie

Too bad he only means it when what Allie wants is HIM, and not when she refuses to go out with him "because she doesn't want to" and still we are supposed to take this romantic.

6. The fact that Allie was willing to drop out of school just to be in the same town as some guy she's known for maybe 3 months

If I shout, "Your education is more important than a boy!" loudly enough into the TV screen, maybe Allie will hear me, along with all of the idealistic teenage girls who are staying up late to watch this terrible movie with smelly boyfriends.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F01%2F05%2F636192429924732253-555030632_tumblr_mcz5qbRJoq1ryjwc0.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=418&h=d5f5df474df0117bcc146080f850d9c4fdbeec8ca26fe125396333e0f2f8c914&size=980x&c=3525056815 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F01%252F05%252F636192429924732253-555030632_tumblr_mcz5qbRJoq1ryjwc0.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D418%26h%3Dd5f5df474df0117bcc146080f850d9c4fdbeec8ca26fe125396333e0f2f8c914%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3525056815%22%7D" expand=1]

7. LON

Allie. C'mon girl. Why do you have to ruin this wonderful man for the rest of us, just because you have a weird obsession with painting and a summer love that never should have happened in the first place? If I'm emotionally invested in this movie in any way, it is only because I am filled with rage that Lon, that beautiful angel man, did not get the happy ending that he deserved. #Pray4Lon

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F30%2F635975916918533771201444087_notebook%2520lon.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=1023&h=412f3d2d393ed6afe0a0e9cb2e7e95695562d35ea98599a73d8e964c61a8a37d&size=980x&c=854143639 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F30%252F635975916918533771201444087_notebook%252520lon.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D1023%26h%3D412f3d2d393ed6afe0a0e9cb2e7e95695562d35ea98599a73d8e964c61a8a37d%26size%3D980x%26c%3D854143639%22%7D" expand=1]

8. The entire concept that passionate love is enough

This is an actual quote from the movie that is played during a montage of Noah and Allie screaming at each other/making out: "They rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time. They challenged each other every day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common: they were crazy about each other." THIS IS NOT A RECIPE FOR A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP. These crazy kids would never make it through one year of marriage, much less end up reading to each other in a nursing home. Moral of the story: companionate love is underrated in all media, and Noah and Allie's relationship sets unrealistic expectations for life in general.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F30%2F635975912598740260-862980023_notebook%2520agree%25202.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=679&h=b8a246e5fc25cc94b89d4c75a6b6d1e751277efed2ef85233db97bd965002d6f&size=980x&c=1394838206 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F30%252F635975912598740260-862980023_notebook%252520agree%2525202.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D679%26h%3Db8a246e5fc25cc94b89d4c75a6b6d1e751277efed2ef85233db97bd965002d6f%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1394838206%22%7D" expand=1]

9. The mustache

Can we at least be above blatant caricature of villainous facial hair?

10. Plot holes the size of the federal deficit

Exhibit A: why didn't Allie just find Noah's address and write to him herself? Probably because she's a ridiculous tumbleweed that just allows things to happen to her instead of taking charge of her life.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F01%2F05%2F636192430523147066-933364330_When-Noah-Scrunches-Up-His-Nose-Cutest-Way.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=573&h=e61469efec512eaf5a37b03f91847d90126bb8724fe16926ce52e9b6326b462b&size=980x&c=324227209 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F01%252F05%252F636192430523147066-933364330_When-Noah-Scrunches-Up-His-Nose-Cutest-Way.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D573%26h%3De61469efec512eaf5a37b03f91847d90126bb8724fe16926ce52e9b6326b462b%26size%3D980x%26c%3D324227209%22%7D" expand=1]

11. Ryan Gosling is a precious cinnamon roll who is too good for this world

If I'm being honest, the number one reason why The Notebook is the worst is because Ryan Gosling will never pick me up and tell me I'm a bird, nor will he kiss me in the rain and grow angsty facial hair because he cannot bear to be separated from my love.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F30%2F635975920012026883-909773932_notebook%2520ryan.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=770&h=927f2feea324fb407b8221a73843cab0950ed19448db76056d7e9a304b25768b&size=980x&c=3210878488 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F30%252F635975920012026883-909773932_notebook%252520ryan.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D770%26h%3D927f2feea324fb407b8221a73843cab0950ed19448db76056d7e9a304b25768b%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3210878488%22%7D" expand=1]

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Ask Your BFF These 20 Questions To See If They Know You As Well As You THINK That They Do

Ask your best friend these basic questions to see just how well they know you.

Ask Your BFF These 20 Questions To See If They Know You As Well As You THINK That They Do

My best friend has been in my life since we were 3 years old, now that we are adults now, I'd like to ask her these questions to see how well she knows me.

Keep Reading... Show less

Alone At The Met

I survive a day alone in NYC.

Wikimedia Commons

It was six in the evening. I was sitting in the courtyard of a Renaissance-era Italian villa, glancing around at the statues, most notably one of a boy removing a thorn from his foot. Despite the supposedly relaxing setting, I was incredibly anxious. My phone was at less than 5 percent battery, and once it died I would be completely disconnected from my family and peers, alone in one of the largest art museums in the country.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

College 101: How To Ease The Back To School Blues

Getting back into the school groove when you just can't seem to let go of summer.

Beyond The States

With fall classes just beginning, many of us find ourselves struck with summer withdrawals. Especially for those who refrained from taking courses over the summer, it can be quite difficult to get back in the swing of things. Fortunately, there are various ways to help make the transition back to college as smooth as possible.

Keep Reading... Show less
Dating Apps

We Met At A Bar

Salvage what you can; if you can't, it's alright to walk away.

We Met At A Bar
Anne Waldon

We met at a bar.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Mets And Me

They may be the worst sometimes, but this baseball team has given me more than I could ask for.

Rich Schultz/Getty Images

On September 3rd, 2001, a sea of children littered my home's navy-carpeted den to watch baseball during my dad's 40th birthday extravaganza. A baseball game flickered on the TV, and a red and blue bubble of a scoreboard sat in the bottom right corner of the screen. The New York Mets and the Philadelphia Phillies were in a wild game at Veterans' Stadium. As I, a five-year-old boy with a jumble of curly blonde hair, sat in the back of the kid clump, I wondered which team I should root for. After a long debate with myself, I decided that I should root for the team that's winning (duh). But, as the ninth inning rolled around with the Phils maintaining a 7-5 lead, some magic occurred. The Mets put up five runs in one frame, stunning the Phillie fans in the room and winning the game 10-7.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments