1. During the sign of peace when one of you goes in for a hug while the other goes in for a handshake.

Those 10 seconds before the "Lamb of God" can haunt you for the rest of the day

2. "It is right to give th- AND JUST."

I promise I'm not a heathen! I actually do go here!

3. Walking back from receiving communion and not knowing which pew you were in.

Dang, I know I was somewhere around here. Why do all these pews look the same?

4. Remembering the sins you've forgotten AFTER you get out of confession.

EVERY SINGLE TIME.

5. When your scapular or crucifix decides to choke you.

This is it. This is how I go.

6. Seeing what you gave up during Lent EVERYWHERE.

Not to mention everything having meat in it on Fridays.

7. Trying to stay modest in today's clothing industry.

Excuse me, Forever 21, have you heard of Theology of the Body?

8. Making the Sign of the Cross after the Pledge of Allegiance.

I realized my mistake as soon as it happened. Just play it cool.

9. When it's time to put down the kneeler and you have you to silently figure out who's going to put it down.

Or getting the awkward spot between two kneelers and having to figure where your knees go each time you have to kneel.

10. Trying to avoid getting trampled when genuflecting after leaving the pew.

Excuse me, I'm trying to be respectful here!

11. And with all the new "Star Wars" hype...

Resisting this reply is harder than avoiding meat on Lenten Fridays.