Whether it’s girls night out or just another Thirsty Thursday, we all have that one friend who dances on the bar like she’s in a rap video, the crazy one who makes more friends in the girl’s bathroom than you even have in your group chat or that one friend who makes sure everyone is safe and breathing by the end of the night—and I’m sure you’ve already pictured some of your friends in your head while reading this! There are 11 types of “drunk friends” that we all can name, see if you can pinpoint some of your friends, or yourself on this list!
1. The Crier
After the drinks have been flowing—especially the wine or tequila, she cries at everything! She cries when she’s happy, when she’s sad, when she’s confused, when she’s excited, any emotion she has provokes a couple tears or sometimes even the waterworks. If she sees her ex at the bar with someone new or even just having a good time, it is sure to ruin her night and she will cry the entire time about it. She might even cry because she just loves you guys so much. Beware of this girl—and take away the Cabernet and margaritas before it’s too late!
2. The Mom
We love this friend! She has our back always, she even sacrifices her own fun to make sure that we’re all safe and sound. She's drives our sloppy-selves, cuts us off when we’ve had too much, gets us a water when we have that look in our eye, orders the pizza when she knows we need it, carries us home, and holds our hair back when no one else will. She is the savior and we’re all lucky to have her. Next time you see her, be sure you tell her how thankful you are for her.
3. The "Twerk Queen"
Oh boy, this girl is a good time! She’s the friend that gets on the bar and starts dancing to Snoop’s “drop it like it’s hot!” If she’s ever missing, you’ll find her starting a grind line in the middle of the all the action, she's always dancing with her bff’s and even sometimes just dancing by herself! She’s definitely the jokester of the group and is known to always be down for a good time. She’s featured every weekend on your Snapchat’s doing some outrageous dance move! Hey, you might even find her in a twerk contest. Once she’s had a couple drinks, her dance moves and karaoke skills are unstoppable!
4. The Regina George
This is the girl that when she drinks vodka or maybe too much Fireball, she starts to be mean! The truth comes out and sometimes it is ugly! She’s usually a sweet and nice girl but when she has too much drink or drinks her “poison,” the beast is officially unleashed! She’s the one that isn’t afraid to throw a drink on your sworn enemy or throw an elbow at the boy who played you. She's the Rocky Balboa of the group. Keep an eye on her and stay out of her way when she has had too much!
5. The Lover
The complete opposite of the bully—this friend is always making new friends in the bathroom line or buying strangers shots “just because.” She’s the friend that tells you how beautiful you are and how much they love you all night long. She’s one of our favorites and always knows how to make us smile when we’ve spotted our ex with his new girl or our “crush” having fun without us. She might be a little much sometimes, but she’s always there to tell you how pretty you are.
6. The "Promiscuous Girl"
She’s the boy crazy friend, always looking to find her soulmate at the bar. She’s not happy unless she’s in her latest crop top and the center of attention. She’s the friend that comes home with five new numbers from boys she can’t even remember. She doesn’t even need to bring money to the bar—because all the guys are lining up to buy her drinks! Her night will not be complete without some serious “boy drama” to tell you the next day. This friend is usually the crazy one, heading to random post-games parties at the football house, You might even see her kissing other girls for attention and you often catch her in the morning doing the walk of shame!
7. The "Pukey Queen"
This friend wants to hang, she wants to take all those shots of Rumplemintz and try your crazy bowl of mixed booze the bartender threw together but she can’t. She takes that extra shot of Jose Cuervo with you but you both know that she'll be regretting that in the morning! Whether it’s that night or the next morning, she is always sick—especially when she mixes! If she's ever missing, you can find her hugging the toilet.
8. The Peer 'Pressurer'
The good, bad and the ugly come from her. She wants everyone to have fun—so much fun that she might even push you over your limit sometimes. She wants everyone on the same level as her that she’s even willing to buy everyone a round of shots to make it happen! She might even cause some drama, you know, that friend that says, “Hey I think that girl is talking sh*t about you…” She provokes everyone—for the good and the bad! Usually she’s here for a good time but she isn’t afraid to stir the pot a little if the night seems dull.
9. The Disappearing Act
Like a magic trick, one minute she's there and the next, she's vanished! “Where is ‘so and so’?” you’ll often hear throughout the night. She wanders off and does her own thing. If she’s bored—she might even leave and not say a word. She’s an independent chick and she likes to cause her own trouble throughout the night. You’ll probably text her every half an hour asking where she is—and half the time you’ll get an answer. You might worry about her but she somehow always makes it back home and with a story to tell!
10, The 'Stumblina'
We all have that one friend who doesn’t know her limit—or doesn’t care. She’s sloppy and she talks a little too close for comfort. This friend is usually the hot mess of the group, stumbling around the bar or the party. She’s a good time until she takes that unneeded shot or that extra vodka Redbull that she sure as hell didn’t need. You’ll never see her drinking water after a rough night and she definitely will never admit that she’s drunk or had too much. Be careful of her and make sure that you or the “mom” of the group keeps an eye out!
11. The Pro
This is that friend that you’d never know was drunk, she shows zero symptoms. They have mastered the art of drinking and if “the mom” isn’t driving—then they are. She’s borderline an alcoholic but that’s why you love her! You could quiz her on any drink and she’d know how it was made, shaken or stirred and if you should avoid or consume it. She’s probably the bartender or server in the group and she’s experienced! She’s always got her act together—even when you’ve counted how many drinks she’s had and it seems impossible. You hope that someday, maybe, you can seem like you’re put together like her.
Well there you have it, all your drunk friends summed up! And hey, if you can’t find someone to match one of these descriptions—then that one is most likely you!
