Some people are born rebels, others ease in to their rebellious stages, and some live a life of rebellion in disguise. As a member of the last group, I have a few confessions that I feel should be made public.
1. I took more than one piece of Halloween candy.
You did too, don't lie. I mean especially if it was good candy-you can't have just one.
2. I've eaten an apple straight off of a tree in an orchard.
Apple picking is hard work, and the fruit looks so good. I mean that one could've fallen to the ground minutes after I picked it, then it would be bad. See, I did a good deed.
3. I didn't go to the bathroom with my hall pass, I wandered.
I apologize teachers, but sometimes I needed a break from the monotony of whatever chapter you were reading directly from the book for the millionth time.
4. I got lemonade instead of water.
Don't have opaque free water cups. It's your fault.
5. I took two free samples.
So what, the little old lady liked me, or didn't remember me coming in hot for a meatball just minutes earlier. Either way no harm, no foul.
6. I brought more than 8 items into the dressing room.
Nine dresses is not excessive. The rule is stupid. I only bought one in the end anyways.
7. I brought my own water bottle into a concert.
Water at a One Direction Concert costs precisely $14,000, and I get parched from scream singing every song. Sue me.
8. I returned a pair of shoes after wearing them once.
You couldn't even tell. Plus they were incredibly uncomfortable. Tighten up your return policy if it bothers you.
9. I checked out with 11 items.
Okay so after the gum and magazine it was 13 items total, but honestly isn't that close enough?
10. I asked about products to get my makeup done for free.
I was honestly curious and the overzealous makeup tech just haaaad to show me what they would look like on my skin. Now the fact that I went in knowing this was going to happen should have no true conflict with the welcomed outcome.
11. I've taken condiments and plastic utensils home as needed.
Sometimes you run out of ketchup, and honey mustard, and have no clean forks, so you improvise. Work smarter not harder people.
If you or someone you know can be classified as a rebel in disguise, may you live out your life and rebellious ways in secret happiness.
