It's the beginning of the new year! Know what that means? It's time to try to live up to some New Year's resolutions that you'll probably only follow for the first few days. Here are some of them:

1. Working out more

You tell yourself you're going to hit the gym at least four days out of the week, and then you find yourself bingeing on Netflix and Twinkies by the second day. Tragic.

2. No more sweets

Calorie counting is too much of a hassle, just go grab a Hershey's bar and be satisfied!

3. Stop procrastinating

I was going to write something for this one... but... I'll just do it later.

4. Start reading more

My Grandma used to tell me about these ancient things called books. They sound boring.

5. Be more polite to people

But people suck—why be nice to people who suck?

6. Giving up smoking

Actually, this is a good one. You should do this one.

7. Learn a new language

Estoy...Cuando...This is difficult—where is the Rosetta Stone?

8. Travel more

But that requires getting off your couch, doesn't it? Nah, I'm good.

9. Become more hygienic

Showering once a week is socially acceptable, right?

10. Get better grades

Getting a 4.0 is like getting a Unicorn for Christmas. Don't hold your breath.

11. Find a relationship

But other people suck, remember?