I love Orange is the New Black, I love the writing, and I love the character development. For the past three years I have devoured each season on Netflix, each in about a week. Okay let’s be honest, a few days. The fourth season just came out the 17th, and I have already watched the first episode. Here are 100 thoughts I had while watching episode one, “Work That Body For Me.”
Of course, do not go on if you don't want to see any spoilers.1. Oh my gosh I forgot how much I love this song.
2. And now I am singing aloud.
3. Alone.
4. I should add I'm also dancing.
5. Well, it's a weird head bob thing, but whatever.
6. How are they all still in the lake?
7. How is no one realizing they are all in the lake?
8. Alex really knows how to get herself in terrible situation.
9. Crazy lady to the rescue.
10. That got dark pretty quickly, I mean we aren't even two minutes into the episode.
11. How on earth can you kill a prison guard and have no one notice?
12. I mean really, does anybody watch the inmates, like, ever?
13. As usual Caputo is completely unaware.
14. I am the only one who actually finds the young, ignorant guard kind of adorable?
15. I really don't like Piper.
16. She is way to full of herself.
17. I mean, if I went to prison I would keep my head down and keep quiet.
18. She just runs around acting like she is the most important thing to ever happen at this prison.
19. Chang is right, that lake is totally gross. I would not be swimming in that thing.
20. She has the right idea about that shower, smart lady.
21. And the idiot guards are acting like this is dress up time, still kind of adorable?
22. Is this show an actual representation of how women's prisons are?
23. It isn't great, but also not the worst thing.
24. I mean you can run around without anyone really caring.
25. There is gardening.
26. Seriously, no has noticed their is a guard missing?
27. How can you hide a body in a prison?
28. There is absolutely no way this is like a real prison.
29. I am about this dark humor, though.
30. Really an emoji?
31. For a hit message?
32. How are they so calm?
33. They killed a person and they are talking about alien emojis!
34. Ooooh, they brought in the big guns.
35. I am uncomfortable watching Crazy Eyes and this girl rubbing each-other's arms and ear lobes.
36. How can none of the guards see them?
37. Honestly, if I made it to the lake, there was no way in hell I would go back.
38. Run for the hills Crazy Eyes.
39. This girl is a little nuts.
40. We are back to the two calmest murderers on the planet.
41. That is a very unbelievable for "I just killed this girl picture."
42. Not that I would know, but I can assume.
43. Mandatory Cosby joke, check.
44. Is it legal for this many people to be in one prison?
45. That is a lot of people, there is no way that is a good idea.
46. How can Luschek act like this at work and not get fired?
47. Marello is married.
48. I am so happy for that adorable stalker, I can't believe I forgot.
49. Coates, also known as the worst person ever.
50. I'll never look at loafers the same ever again.
51. This is why I love this show, they openly discuss important issues all of the time.
52. A set of keys up there, can not be comfortable.
53. Shut up, Piper.
54. Super cute they had time to put flowers in their hair.
55. How has no one realized they are missing?
56. Why wouldn't they be running as far as they can go?
57. This girl is making Crazy Eyes look level headed.
58. Yeah, this girl is totally nuts.
59. Why is this prison so unorganized?
60. This is actually ridiculous.
61. I think I am going to like this cooking show lady.
62. She is one powerful lady, I predict some drama between her and Red.
63. She seems pretty calm up front, but I bet there is some real dark stuff under that Martha Stewart Smile.
64. This new guard is super scary and mean, but, like, kind of hot.
65. No, just me?
67. I'll just keep that to myself then.
68. Shouldn't more people be looking for a missing inmate?
69. Wouldn't the press be notified or the Federal government?
70. Yeah, this young guard really reminds me of an adorable freshmen in college too bright for this world.
71. I can't even voice my annoyance about Piper.
72. Friendly reminder not to get prison tattoos, and to take care of fresh tattoos.
73. I freaking love Poussey, she is too cute.
74. How long has Alex had the keys down there?
75. I'm honestly impressed.
76. What did this crazy girl do?
77. I look forward to that shocker later.
78. This prison is just a giant mess.
79. Again, there can't be too many places to hide a body on a prison campus.
80. NO WAY.
81. THAT IS SOME DARK SH*T.
82. Wow, I mean this is episode one!
83. Very impressed with Laura Prepon's acting skills right now.
84. I am really having a hard time even watching this.
85. I know he is a hitman, and a horrible person, but that is one rough way to go.
86. Again, Alex really knows how to get herself in terrible situations.
87. New guard coming at you with the new pointless rules.
88. Crazy eyes is just too pure.
89. I mean, not totally pure, but pretty close.
90. Healy can make every and all situations so uncomfortable.
91. She is holding keys that were recently up in Alex's... well you know.
92. No comment on Piper's awfulness.
93. WOW.
94. THIS IS TOO MUCH.
95. I understand that this a show about criminals in prison, but WOW.
96. Very dark and very hard to watch, yet again.
97. How is no one coming to check on them?
99. How does no one notice the suspicious wheelbarrow?
100. Wow, this is going to be one hell of a season.
