1. Invite your friend nobody likes to a closed party.
When you get invited over to
someone's house, it is always a great idea to respond and ask if you can invite
someone whom you know the host hates and did not invite on purpose. This does not
end awkwardly, and the host will be so glad you blatantly pointed out
that they forgot to invite that person.
2. Never RSVP to anything.
Showing up unannounced is
really so cool. Everyone loves that kid who never responds to any group texts
and then just rolls up to the party without even bringing any food or drinks.
3. Send 500 texts in a row to the same person.
The great thing about
iMessage is that you don't have to take the time to compose your thoughts and
send just one message. Just send as many messages as it takes until you can get
your point across. If they don't respond, it can be really helpful to send
follow up texts.
4. Arrive super late to
everything.
Only losers show up to events
on time. It doesn't matter if this is class, an interview, or hanging out with
your friends. It is always better to arrive at least two hours after the event
started without telling anyone you will be late.
5. Talk about your really annoying hobbies in excess.
Are you really into
reconstructing obscure instruments that you bought off the internet, or
manically caring for your pet turtle? You should tell everyone about it in
excruciating detail. They are your friends, so they should not mind
listening to you talk about it for hours.
6. Make inappropriate comments randomly.
There is never a bad moment
for a really rude joke. It does not matter who you are with; they will understand
that this is your humor and will be okay with whatever you want to say.
7. Invite yourself over to people's houses.
Never offer to host anything
at your own house when you can just plan something at somebody else's.
8. Start dating your friend's boyfriend or ex- boyfriend.
You know that there is no
such thing as off limits when it comes to relationships. All is supposed to be
fair in love and war, right?
9. Regift awful presents as birthday gifts.
When you don't have time, or
don't really care about someone's birthday gift, pull open your drawer of
crappy gifts you have received in the past, and bring them back to life. That
Costco gift card you got three years ago and never used? Free car wash vouchers?
What about that hideous tote bag from Target you won at a fair? Those
are perfect examples of heartfelt gifts people love to receive.
10. Borrow things and never return them.
Tell them that you are just borrowing, when you have no intention of ever returning said item. Whether it be food, clothes, a beloved novel, or cat ears for Halloween, take it knowing that they will never get it back.
