So you're a Rochesterian moving away from home or considering moving away from home. I spent eighteen years of my life blissfully unaware of how close I could have come to being born in a land where Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass were not my neighbors. Then I went out-of-state for college. Here are my top 10 warnings for Rochesterians braving the outside world:
1. If you begin singing the Erie Canal song you will be judged, not accompanied by other nostalgic New York educated former children.
Your new friends do not know what the “Erie Canal” is, much less why it deserves a song. They did not learn about it annually in elementary school. They do not have happy memories of laying on the floor of a boat under a “low bridge” during an elementary school field trip. I promise it is still possible to “know your neighbor” and to “know your pal”.
2. People will not know what you’re referring to when you say “Wegmans bags.”
They may call them “grocery bags” or “plastic bags” or “shopping bags” or even some other grocery store. They are wrong. However, you may have to train your new friends by referring to them as “Wegmans bags or plastic bags”. Eventually, you’ll be able to drop off the second moniker, and your new friends will understand the proper name for these bags.
3. In fact, people might not know what ‘Wegmans’ is.
This will make you sad for their obviously empty lives. Then, when your new friends understand you are referring to a grocery store, they will judge you for being homesick for a grocery store. Give them some grace if they have never been to a Wegmans. If they have been lucky enough to be beneficiaries of Wegmans’ expansion, and still think Wegmans is overrated, it is probably best not to trust their judgement or advice on things in the future.
4. Your new friends may not believe you have Tim Hortons throughout your town.
If your new friends are aware of the existence of Tim Hortons, they may think that it’s only in Canada. Be prepared for potentially public disagreements where you have to insist that you know for a fact Tim Hortons is in America.
5. It’s not just that non-Rochesterians don’t know what Garbage Plates are, they actually sound disgusting to people who don’t usually associate the word “garbage” with food.
Although you may be prepared to explain what a garbage plate is, when you get to “and then it’s smothered in meat hot sauce” you’ll get blank, somewhat alarmed stares, because meat hot sauce is not a thing other places.
6. Do not ask a non-Rochesterian if they would like a red or white hot dog.
Hot dogs come in two colors for everyone else: reddish/pinkish or charred black. If you try to explain what a “white hot” is, you’ll realize you really don’t know and sound a bit crazy.
7. You will be mocked for your love of lilacs.
Every year, your roommate may deem it necessary to take a picture of one of the many times you stop to smell the lilacs. You might get in a fight with virtual strangers about the correct pronunciation of the word “lilac” (it should sound pretty, not ugly or harsh). After this fight, you might be called “lilac” for the rest of your relationship with these people. You must simultaneously avoid this fight while wearing your love proudly.
8. Most cities do not have a museum of play; you may experience withdrawal.
If you need to walk down Sesame Street, see an overwhelming collection of Barbies, explore fairy tales come to life or shop in a mini-Wegmans, you will need to deal with that when you come home. You will also have to deal with the fact that your new friends have had childhoods without the Strong National Museum of Play, and this will make you sad for them.
9. No one else knows how to deal with snow or cold.
Either the citizens or the city itself will not handle snow well. Try not to roll your eyes too often when they discuss the “large amounts of snow they’re getting” or how “necessary” a snow day is.
10. No matter what or where you go, a part of you will miss it.
Hopefully, now you feel prepared for the moment you realize that Rochester really has its own culture, and you are a bit weird because you are comfortable using words like "Rochesterian". But despite all the danger with leaving our microcosm, the best part is you get to enhance your new friends' lives by bringing them to Rochester. Good luck!
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