10 Things You Shouldn't Be Overthinking

10 Things You Shouldn't Be Overthinking

Because overthinking is costing you your happiness
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1. Whether or not you love them.

Now I have to be honest- I don't really know what love is. I have a definition of "love" that is all my own, but I'm well aware that my definition of love is not the same as the next people. So, I'm no expert, okay, but what I do know is that love has no room for second guessing. I know that love should be worked at every single day, but it should feel natural and unforced. Love takes time, and you simply cannot rush it. Instead of worrying about whether you love him or not, start enjoying the moment that you are in. Not every relationship is supposed to be "love" and not every person you love you will fall in love with. Focus on the now, and stop ruining the good moments you spend together because you're trying to define love. Love will define itself. You will know when you are in love.

2. What he/she meant when he/she said x, y, and z.

"What do you think he/she meant when he said 'I'll talk to you later'?"

Well they probably meant that they'll talk to you later. Stop overcomplicating every single circumstance and knit picking until the point of exhaustion. You are throwing yourself onto an emotional roller coaster you don't need to be on. Trust that people mean what they say and say what they mean. If their actions and words consistently don't add up, on to the next.

3. If you should text them first, double text them, etc.

This is the simplest of all. If you want to text them, text them. It's that easy. Don't make it a game. Just send the fricking text.

4. Why it didn't work out with your ex.

It just didn't.

Whether you were at different places in your life, whether one of you cheated or lied or what have you- it simply didn't work, and to continue to stay focused on the past will never propel your life forward. We are constantly changing and our perspectives are constantly evolving based on every experience that occurs every single day. There are some people who might be great for you in the moment, but as you both continue to grow, your lives begin to take courses that take you to opposite ends of the earth.

That's okay!

It didn't work out. Accept it and move forward.

5. That friend you lost touch with.

Some people are meant to be in your life for a season, and some people are meant to be a part of your life for a lifetime. When you lose touch with people, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are going to be gone from your life forever, but what it does mean is that wherever you are headed right now in your own journey is somewhere that you need to go without them.

6. If you're going to marry your current boyfriend/girlfriend.

There is no way to ruin a good thing quicker than to have expectations for the future. Spend every moment in the moment. Sure, there are some things that you need to prepare for... saving for a home, a new car, preparing for a family, taking care of your body so you are healthy for years to come, etc. but you should never rob yourself of the happiness in the moment you are currently in simply because you are hyper-focused on the future.

7. If you're going to be single forever.

You won't be if you would like to find love. This is just a dramatic phrase that everyone uses at some point in their life (I'm guilty too). There's this really awesome thing called the Law of Attraction and Manifestation. Give love. Have a positive attitude towards love. You can have anything you want in life if you want it bad enough.

8. Whether or not you're where you should be in life.

Life has no rule book. If you are learning, growing, have goals and aspirations that you are working towards accomplishing, and you are pursuing happiness, you are where you should be in life. Because life is about living, not crossing things off a to-do list.

9. What people are saying behind your back.

As much as everyone can say "I don't care what they think" or that it doesn't bother them, when we find out someone is talking about us, or when we suspect someone is talking about us, it stings a little. Nail-polish-remover-in-a-paper-cut kind of sting. Even the fact that we question if they were or not stings a little. But in all honesty, as cliche as it sounds, when someone talks about you it says more about them than it does about you.

10. Whether or not people are judging your appearance.

They probably are. That's the honest truth. But you need to remember that in regards to your body, the only person who's opinion matters is your own. If you are happy and if you love the way that you look, that confidence will translate into a whole new form of beautiful that can't be replicated.

Cover Image Credit: Specular

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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4 Things I Wish High School Me Knew

Every day has a purpose.

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People don't give high school enough credit for having the ability to shape your life. It can build you or it can break you and often times there is no in between. As I enter into my senior year of college I have reflected a lot on my college career and how it really has been the best years of my life up to this point, but I know that without a doubt my life would have been so different in I would have known these things as a high schooler.

1. Your life is valuable

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. - Ephesians 2:4-7

2. You aren't defined by your singleness. 

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. - Song of Solomon 2:7

4. You aren't going to fit in

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

4. Your clothes aren't going to fit forever, don't spend all of your money on them 

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." - Luke 12:15

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