Indian culture is full of many beautiful and unique attributes. It's pretty awesome! My father is Indian and hails from the island of Trinidad and Tobago, while I was born and raised in the US. Growing up with an Indian father has definitely shaped me into the disciplined woman I am today. With all people of color, I experience racism regularly. Most of it being from people who don't know that what they say to me and ask me can be rather offensive. Once these questions leave your lips, it's hard to take back.
(These are all real things that someone has said to me at school, work, church, etc.)
1. "Where are you from?" leading to "No, where are you really from?"
Ahhh, there is it. The questions that gets all of our blood boiling. This has to be number one on my list for two reasons. First of all, something that many people tend not to be aware of is the meaning of nationality. I know this because whenever I reply back saying "I'm from the United States" people tend to look baffled and come back with "Well, you know what I mean, I was asking what your background was!" Your nationality is defined as the status of belonging to a particular nation. Many people mistake this as meaning your race or ethnic background.
The second thing that triggers me hardcore are the people who are well aware of the definition of nationality, but don't believe me when I say I was born in the United States. Asking "No, where are you really from?" after hearing that my accent is obviously a North American one. (And there are many North American accents!) Come on, it's 2017. Indian people are a pretty common thing to run into nowadays. Don't act like you've never seen one.
2. "So, do you worship cows?"
Another classic question that every single Indian detests. There are a few things wrong with this question. Automatically assuming that I am a Hindu just because I'm Indian can generally be considered quite insensitive. Not all Indians are Hindu. A religion doesn't consume an entire race. I'm a practicing baptist Christian, but am very knowledgeable about the Hindu religion considering the fact that my father is a practicing Hindu.
Also, in the Hindu religion, cows are not "worshipped." Complete misconception. Cows are seen as sacred and highly respected animals because it is believed that ancestors are reincarnated inside the cow, making them a spiritual asset to the Hindu religion. This is why Hindus do not eat beef.
3. "Oh you're Indian? I love 'Slumdog Millionaire!'"
Congratulations? Now, imagine if I said "Oh, you're American? I love 'Forrest Gump!'" Sounds kind of ridiculous right? Well, same goes for if you bring up "Slumdog Millionaire" to an Indian when you first meet them.
4. "Do you believe in arranged marriage?"
Not really something you should really ask an Indian cashier checking you out at the store, a classmate or a co worker. While some Indians residing in the United States still believe in this taboo issue, most of us don't and think it's very medieval. An appropriate time to ask an Indian person this question would be when you know for a fact that they are 100% comfortable with you and is fine with talking about these types of subjects.
5. "India is such a horrible place."
India is far from perfect. I agreed there are many social issues in India such as female foeticide, caste problems, illiteracy and poverty. In my opinion these should be discussed and brought to light, but at the same time Indians want to discuss both the positive and the negatives. We do not just want to focus on the negative. Imagine if I came up to you complaining about how America is trillions of dollars in debt, full of fat hicks, how there are hundreds of thousands of homeless veterans, men, women and children and how the country is run by an oompa lumpa man child. Yeah, doesn't sound very nice to focus on the negatives right? That's not how we want India to be portrayed as either.
6. "My friend is Indian, do you know him/her?"
There's over a billion of us. Chances are I will not know them. I don't even know any of the other Indians who live in my town.
7. "You're not allowed to be a Christian."
Many people have the belief that an Indian person is "born into" Hinduism. While many of us are raised to be Hindu, you don't have to stick with it. Like everyone else, we're free to choose what faith we want to follow. Though some of our families may not be supportive of our religious paths, it is ultimately our choice.
8. "I thought Indian girls were supposed to be modest."
In all races and ethnic backgrounds, there are women who prefer to be more modest and cover up, and there are some women who are comfortable wearing less clothing. Either way, I shouldn't be shamed for wearing leggings and a tight top when the next white girl is wearing the same thing and not getting in trouble. (I'm talking to you, high school dress code!!!)
9. "All Indian women are oppressed."
India is still a male dominated society, where women are often seen as subordinate and inferior. In today's society India offers a lot of opportunities to women, with women having a voice in everyday life and the business world as well as in political life. This country has come a long way and is still going!
Women like Sonia Gandhi, Sushma Swaraj, and Mamata Banerjee are three of some of the most powerful female politicians in India. All doing things to make a difference for young girls and women who hope to be working, independent citizens. In other countries such as the US, Indian women have an even better opportunity to succeed in anything their heart desires, with hard work. Being Indian and a woman doesn't automatically make us oppressed.
10. And please...don't show us your Indian accent impressions.
It's not only the fact that imitating the way someone talks can be very hurtful, even if it is a joke, it really isn't that funny. It's overdone and played out, it's basically annoying at this point.
99% of the time your impression isn't even good. It's time to stop.
