With Thanksgiving right around the corner, it's a perfect time for everyone to reflect on all the blessings in their lives and what they are most thankful for.
For me, I'm thankful for an amazing family, loyal friends, average Boston Bruins hockey, and getting to tell you all about stuff I like on The Odyssey. That being said, sometimes problems arise when families get together at the big dinner table. Just to save you a headache and a couple of squabbles, here are the top 10 things NOT to bring up at dinner time on Thanksgiving.
10. Black Friday Shopping
Nothing ruins a good day or speeds one up like bringing up your plans for the night or day after. Especially when it comes to Black Friday, the worst day of the year in the United States. Crazies from all over line up outside the mall to fight each other for things like TVs and headphones and it's just the worst. Let's not stress Grandma out with the idea of large crowds of people fighting over electronics marked down by 5 percent.
9. Your Age.
It's always nice when you get to see family that you haven't seen in years. You catch up, have a few laughs, and it feels like you've all been together the entire time. So when your favorite uncle tosses you a cold one while you're at the tender age of not 21, it's probably best to keep quiet about your birthday. There's really nothing like a cold beer with a nice dinner on the holidays, so when it comes time to break bread, pull off an Oscar-worthy performance and act like you belong.
8. Adults: College Final Exams
As college students, we know the inevitable questions about school are to come, which is fine. You may not be around as much as our parents and siblings are, so you're probably genuinely curious. Talking about classes, friends, social life, etc. is fine. But do us a favor and leave the word "finals" out of your vocabulary. Try not to remind us while we eat dinner that within a very short amount of time we'll be sleeplessly hustling to pass our final exams. It'd be greatly appreciated.
7. Gross Dishes
You see something on the platter, and you're not quite sure what it is but you figure that Thanksgiving only comes once a year so you give it a try. However, as you chew your food, you start to anticipate the possibility of throwing up all over the place. Choke it down, don't touch it again, and don't say anything. It's better to not offend anyone, and like most cases on this list, offending family leads to a rough rest of the night.
6. Kanye West
I'm sure I speak on behalf of many of my fellow Kanye fans when I say that it's pretty damn hard to defend this man to older relatives. While the "old Kanye" may have been an afterthought to most, we are all pretty aware of how outspoken and outrageous our favorite rapper can be. Simply turning to your cousin and saying "Hey man, how great was Kanye on SNL the other night?" leads to your uncle ranting and raving about how much of a psycho he is for literally the next half hour, while you just sit there and continue to grow an overall dismay of the entire baby-boomers generation.
5. Your Co-Workers
It's nice to think of your friends enjoying themselves on Thanksgiving. It's even nicer to think of your enemies, whether that be wishing them a nice day or a Chandler Bing-worthy Thanksgiving. But there's really no need to bring up anything about the people you work with. No one on any holiday ever wants to think about going back to work, the people they work with, or your work and your co-workers. Plus, co-worker talk usually turns to complaining which is the exact opposite of what Thanksgiving is all about. If anything, be silently thankful for having a job and continue eating your stuffing.
4. Marijuana Legalization
Nothing makes a person more suspicious of something you did when you bring it up at the table for conversation. Now, I'm not saying that it's a bad subject to discuss with a few cousins away from the older folks, but it's better to not create any controversy with relatives who don't agree with the idea of legalizing marijuana. While some would find the conversation to be just a simple topic, others may or may not be judging you hard. Plus, a full plate sitting in front of you while you talk about how interesting it is that marijuana is legal in Massachusetts doesn't do you any favors.
3. Your Fantasy Football Team
This one more or less is for the people who aren't playing fantasy football, but also for people like me who have an abysmal fantasy team this year. When you've got a competitive spirit and don't take losing lightly, it reminds you of all the heckling you get from your boys every single week. For the ladies out there that don't play fantasy football, they literally do not care about anything you have to say about Odell's PPR. This doesn't exclude real football, but as far as fantasy sports goes, save it for the times where everyone else in the room is playing.
2. Christmas
In my very humble opinion, Thanksgiving is the most underrated holiday there is. For Thanksgiving to come less than a month before Christmas, it's like trying to get a concert crowd hyped up for Tyga right before Drake performs. People overlook it so much, that there's really no time for a Thanksgiving season, especially with god awful Black Friday the next day. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. I don't know of anyone who doesn't, but there's a time and place to get excited for Christmas and it's called December.
1. The Election
Please, just don't. Guys, don't be that guy. Ladies, don't be that guy. No one be that guy. Bringing up the presidential election, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, the electoral college, the popular vote, Florida, anything related to the election of Donald Trump, anything related to the defeat of Hillary Clinton, is not a good idea. The country is obviously very divided on this, so there's a good chance your family is as well. Don't stir any pot other than the gravy. Literally, don't ruin Thanksgiving for everybody. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
