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10 Things That Would Be Different If Gossip Girl Took Place in 2016

The thought of Chuck Bass with a Snapchat should scare us all.

Quinn Hopp

Mar 21, 2016

University of Oregon

176

10 Things That Would Be Different If Gossip Girl Took Place in 2016

A couple of years ago, I wrote an essay about "Gossip Girl" and how it successfully revived social satire. During its debut in 2007, Gossip Girl advertised itself as "every parent's worst nightmare," and at the time, that was more or less the truth. Alas, the lovably ridiculous saga drank its final glass of scotch and waved goodbye in 2012, but it left a legacy. The scandalous books that I had hidden under my pillow in middle school had been brought to life on television, and while TV has gotten progressively more provocative since then, Gossip Girl was was nothing short of jaw-dropping in 2007. A lot has changed since its glory days, and I can't help but wonder: what would have been different about Gossip Girl if it had premiered in 2016?

1. Blair would be fretting about her Instagram likes.

Come on, can't you just picture Queen B barking, "DOROTA! I only got 20 likes in the past 5 MINUTES! This is UNACCEPTABLE."

2. "Gossip Girl" would be an app, and the "Gossip Girl" blasts would be notifications, not email alerts.

"Gossip Girl blast- I mean notification!"

3. Forget app, the "Gossip Girl" site would be on Twitter, Snapchat, AND Instagram.

"OMG! Check out Gossip Girl's snap story!"

4. Chuck Bass would wreac absolute havoc on Snapchat.

#ImChuckBass

"Why is that skank in your snapchat Best Friends?"

5. Also, Tinder.

6. Serena van der Woodsen would most definitely be involved in a nude photo scandal.

Did this happen in the show? I can't remember. Either way, her iCloud would totally get hacked.

7. People would be much more media-stalking savvy, and be able to snuff out the identity of "Gossip Girl" in no time.

8. Dan Humphrey would be the king of subtweets.

It's so painful when you go to brunch and find out your blonde dream girl slept with her best friend's boyfriend #TheWildBrunch

9. Jenny would be the queen of Pinterest.

J Humphrey designs.

10. Rufus would post incessantly about waffle recipes.

Guess what's for breakfast this morning? #Waffles

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 Things That Would Be Different If Gossip Girl Took Place in 2016

The thought of Chuck Bass with a Snapchat should scare us all.

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I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

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Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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