Coffee isn't just a drink, it is a lifestyle. Once you are in, there is no way out. There are some people who "like" coffee, some who "love" it, and then you have those who literally can not function without it (me). At some point you have probably considered joining a form of AA which would probably be called something like, "Coffee Addiction Anonymous (CAA)" for your addiction. Then you most likely laughed out loud at that idea because there is no possible way you could eliminate coffee from your daily routine (Not from personal experience at all). Below are some factors explaining why a life without coffee has become unimaginable, unfathomable, and completely IMPOSSIBLE for you and I.
1. It is the best part of waking up A.K.A the only reason you wake up.
2. You do not consider Decaf to be coffee.
That’s like saying, “Can I have orange free orange juice?” Like, NO.
3. There is no such thing as too much coffee.
Espresso limits are more like suggestions.
4. You NEVER say no to coffee no matter the time of day.
5. Bad coffee puts you in a bad mood, plain and simple.
6. You laugh at the idea of quitting coffee.
In fact, you have decided if it became a life or death situation you might even hesitate. (If this applies to you, then you should probably consider getting help. I have already contacted my sponsor.)
7. You’ve been late to work because you HAD to have your coffee.
I mean, to be completely honest, you are being considerate of everyone else's feelings. Because talking to you before coffee is a no go! Someone might even loose a limb.
8. Having to go to the restroom every 20 minutes is completely normal for you.
9. Ordering a small coffee does not seem realistic for you.
Go big or go home. (No seriously, just go home. Don't doing anything rash and call your sponsor.)
10. That moment you meet someone as equally obsessed as you are about coffee.
It makes life so much easier because they understand and support everything about this lifestyle.
These are 10 things that I have learned throughout all my years of addiction to coffee (eight years strong). With these simple things you are able to diagnosis yourself and others without a trip to the doctors or therapist (You're welcome). Now, for those anti-coffee (tea) drinkers, if you find yourself in a situation with a coffee addict running on "E" for that day; run away and do it fast! (whispers quietly) I'll pray for you.
