Hey you, look up. I see that you are constantly checking your phone as if Trump himself was about to pop out of the screen.
Now I’m not your mother or even your friend (unless you wanna go get a beer sometime idk) but this is for your own good. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Resist the urge because whatever you are looking for is not going to pop right up if you glance at your phone every ten seconds. Thinking about it won’t sound the alarm. I can’t speak for you, but for myself, there are a few reasons I keep looking. These include but are not limited to:
Habit- I can’t sit still for more than a minute if I’m too used to constantly being busy.
Pretending- So that I can trick myself into being busy when I'm feeling unproductive or lazy.
Waiting- For a call, a text (most guilty when it’s a guy), an email, a Snapchat, an Instagram like, a Twitter update, even a Facebook notification (Does anyone still use Facebook? Honest question).
Stress- From external circumstances unrelated to your phone, so you most likely check to distract yourself.
I’m sure whatever your reason, it isn’t entirely pressing enough to be constantly checking, stressing, or getting impatient... or all three at the same time. If it is, then you’d benefit from a "time-out" more than the former person. Try these quick and easy tips next time you and your phone need space.
1. Put it on silent - If the idea of parting sounds damn near impossible (I know the struggle), this is a great place to start. Take it off vibrate, plug it in, and put it on the other side of the room. Proceed to make eye contact and begin your line of questioning and you will for sure scare the info right out of that bastard. Just kidding, keep it at a distance. Preferably somewhere out of eyesight. See? You’re already off to a better start than me personifying my telephone.
2. Get yourself a glass of water - Hydration station my friends (lets just skip the beer and be pals). It’s like a lifesaver on a first date - not optional, necessary. I never regret stopping whatever I’m doing to get at least an eight-ounce glass in my system. It’s soothing and good for the body.
3. Get some work done - We all know there is something better you could be doing with your time. It can be any kind of work too: work-work, school-work, homework, errands, or even house chores. Sometimes the act of cleaning can get you out of your head and into a tasking mindset. Just get up and find something else.
4. Take an extra shift or more work - If you’re insistent on keeping preoccupied, you can try your hand at some more hours or asking for extra assignments. Being proactive, getting experience, and making extra money never made anyone any lesser in the long run.
5. Or you can find a leisure activity - So you’re a super human and you have done all the mundane, Congrats! Now you have a ton of time to partake in a neglected hobby, or even go find a new one! Mine include making art, reading books, listening to music, lighting candles, taking baths and binge watching Netflix. You know, like a stereotypical girl. Go on now, get your culture on.
6. Do some exercise - Maybe you can’t sit still? That’s cool, use that energy to get in a quick workout. Doesn’t have to be long or rigorous, just something to get your blood pumping or your limbs moving. If you can, make it outside. The more fresh air the better!
7. Meet with your friends - Call them for a night in or get out there and do something fun. Get out of town if you have the means.They are the perfect distraction from all the messages you aren’t getting. Have no friends? No problem! The family will do just as well. Or alternative friends, like pasta and sea salt dark chocolate. Cause really, who says all friends have to be living? ;)
8. Go pet something fuzzy - I typically like to pet dogs. I don’t own any animals but I have my ways. Sometimes you make friends who own animals, or you can go to a shelter/pet shop to find one, or you can even be a creepy dog stalker like me and go to the dog parks. Any of them will do. If you are allergic, modify - you can pet a stuffed animal or even mold clay. Just find something to do with your hands (double entendre intended).
9. Sleep it off - Cause nothing says I give up hope of interaction on my phone quite like knocking out for a nap or turning in early for the evening. Sleeping always makes me feel like a new person and not like a nocturnal animal. Now’s your chance, go count those sheep.
10. Put it in the blender - Now this is a little extreme but a totally valid option. Seriously. If you’ve tried all of the above already and still haven’t had luck, then I’d for sure consider this an option. Cause you’re probably a freaking wacko anyways!
Good luck friends, cause it really isn’t easy stuff. The whole time I was writing this I checked my phone at least four times. I’m considering number ten myself.
Hopefully both our telephones survive.
