Last semester I spent months in a hostile living environment with people who couldn't care less about anyone but themselves... even each other. Here are 10 things that I've learned from having a nightmare trio of roommates:
1. There's not always a diplomatic solution to things.
2. Passive aggressiveness will get you nowhere.
Much like you can't always find a diplomatic solution to things, passive aggressiveness won't do anything for you. They left their dishes in the sink so you moved them in front of their bedroom door? In the end, they'll just repeatedly move them back to the sink, where you'll get tired of seeing them and end up washing them yourself. Don't think leaving a note does anything either, because if it doesn't immediately affect them, they don't care.
3. There's a cap on giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
Drugs. Alcohol. Partying. Noise until 6 A.M. with plenty of opportunities to call it in. Do you think it's just this once? You're probably wrong. Next thing you know you will be spending an entire semester up until 6 A.M. with bass bumping the walls of your bedroom when you have 8 A.M. classes. As Sarah Dessen says: "You're not a sucker, you're just nice. You give people the benefit of the doubt."
4. First impressions really are everything.
If they are moving in after you've been there a year and the first thing you hear is them yelling down the stairs to curse your existence (literally) to their "best friends" then don't expect that to change. If you think they're mean girls when they move all of your stuff out of the common areas and into little-packed boxes realize that this first impression was where it all began.
5. People don't change.
I'm not saying people can't change, but what this one comes down to is a simple statement: once a mean girl, always a mean girl. Don't think your kindness will make them lighten up and be better people — they won't.
6. If they seem shady, they probably are shady.
Hearing roommate A talk about roommate B to roommate C behind their back when they've all supposedly been "best friends" for years is sketchy enough, but hearing it over and over before hearing them talk badly about how the roommate in the hospital after an overdose "deserved what she got" because she was "acting crazy" is extremely shady.
7. You can't please everybody.
You can't continue to bend over backwards doing your chores, their chores, and trying to be friendly to people who don't appreciate it for your whole life. You either are going to concede to them and make your life miserable or be yourself and just do what you're responsible for. You can't please yourself while pleasing everyone else.
8. Anxiety.
Before having awful roommates, I never knew I had anxiety. I never knew what it meant for your heart to race and your stomach turn just thinking about going home to a hostile living environment. I never knew what it meant to have tears streaming down your face as you uncontrollably shook wondering how anyone could be so bluntly mean.
9. Student-living apartments don't care.
It doesn't matter if they tell you that they have an open door policy or that you can report to them, at the end of the day the only thing they care about is whether or not you're paying your rent. Reporting drug use and noise complaints over and over get you absolutely nowhere in a student apartment.
10. Revenge is sweet.
