10 Things I've Learned From Moving In

10 Things I've Learned From Moving In

What is it really like moving in together?
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"It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along."

Once we fall in love with someone, and I mean truly fall in love with them - it's hard to not imagine what your future together might look like. Something that I have always firmly believed in is that you need to live with someone first before even thinking about marriage. My boyfriend and I waited until I graduated college to live together, and even then we had to wait an additional six months since I had taken a position to live and work in the smoky mountains (best experience ever). Now by this time we had been dating for just a little over two years, so we were very eager to have our own place together. We went through a decent amount of phases in those first two years from: living on the same college campus, to him living off-campus (only five minutes away), to him moving two hours away for a full-time job, to me moving four hours away for my six month position, to now finally living together. It was a roller coaster to say the least.

I was very excited for us to finally move in together, but I found that my perception of what it would be like was very glamorized. Essentially I went into it thinking it would be all fun all the time, or as all the tumblr posts refer to it, "a never ending sleepover with your best friend". In living together I've found that we truly enjoy each other's company, so it is fun most of the time, but there are other times where it's not all so "happy-go-lucky". I constantly see posts on Instagram and Facebook about how girls can't wait to move in with their significant other because they have all of these plans, and they imagine how fun it will be to cook together, do laundry together, and have so much fun being domestic together - and all I have to say to that is just no. We try to paint this picture that everything will be perfect and great all the time, but one of the toughest things we need to accept is that we are all human, and we are messy and emotional beings that are prone to making mistakes or simply, not being perfect all the time. So, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned in moving in and living with my significant other!

1. You're not going to wake up every morning and have breakfast together. Honestly, you'll be lucky if you have more than five minutes of conversation in the morning between the both of you (or maybe just you) running around to get ready on time.

2. You will fight over the very stupid, little things that you once promised each other you never would. But in all seriousness, is it really that hard to put your pants in the laundry basket instead of on the floor....right next to it.......

3. You won't always have dinner together because odds are that your schedules won't always be in sync.

4. Movie night isn't some adorable night filled with popcorn and pillow forts and cuddling. You don't even really have time to watch movies anymore, unless it's a Friday night, but odds are you're already exhausted and want to go to bed by 9pm. Exception would be if you're binge-watching Stranger Things on Netflix, because you can both definitely stay up for that.

5. You will find things about each other that you don't like, or that you never thought would bother you and that's okay! Like I said, no one is perfect.

6. You're going to see them for who they really are, and they're going to see the sides of you that you don't want them to see. This is really important - because this needs to happen if your relationship is really going to work. You need to see each other mad, let them see you when you cry, watch them as they handle stressful situations, see each other at your weakest.

7. You can't run away or walk out when you're fighting. You live together now, the furthest you can go is the next room - unless you want to be really dramatic and get in your car and drive somewhere, but I strongly advise against that. You'll learn you can't run away from your problems (literally).

8. It's not always romantic all the time, but you'll find peace in being able to be comfortable around them.

9. They're going to see you without your makeup and hair all done up, and they're still going to love you. They'll show you that you have no reason to feel insecure with yourself.

10. Most importantly, through the ups and downs of living together, I've learned that yeah, we're going to make it, and life together is pretty great.

Keep all of these in mind when you imagine what it will be like living together, because odds are that it will be harder than you think - but definitely worth it. Plus like I said, if you really enjoy each other, it really is fun most of the time!

Cover Image Credit: Lindsey Bijas

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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10 Things Girls Secretly Love

Come on guys — take a hint.

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Let's face it, girls can be a little stubborn at times and not directly come out and say what they want. But, a few of these should be obvious clues that boys should be able to pick up on. So I have comprised a short list of at least ten obvious things girls, or at least I secretly love.

1. Leave her cute texts

Quickest way to put a smile on her face or leave butterflies in her stomach is to send her a cute text. Even if it's simple

2. Kiss her in front of your friends

Don't be one of those guys that treats your girlfriend/SO differently because you are around your friends. It validates that she really means something to you if you still show her off around your friends.

3. Tell her she looks beautiful

Even if she denies it and says she looks gross, you've still managed to get her attention and show her you think she's beautiful no matter what.

4. Kiss her forehead

5. Let her take photos of you

Slight obsession over your boyfriend is normal, I promise, she just thinks your adorable.

6. Tell her when you have something to do, don't just ignore her randomly

Most girls won't be mad when you have something else to do. It's the fact that you couldn't take the time to send a text that would probably take a minute to write to let her know you aren't just dodging her messages.

7. Play with her hair

If she does it for you, then you do it for her. Don't just let her play with your hair for a half hour then run your fingers through her hair twice and think your done. No, we want the relaxing feeling of fingers running through our hair too.

8. Watch movies with her

You don't always need to go out and do something active, watching a movie and cuddling is nice too. Netflix and Chill

9. Let her fall asleep on you

10. Be her best friend

Sometimes all you need is someone to laugh at stupid jokes with, sing loudly in the car with, or just sit in silence and listen to the world outside a car window.

Every girl wants to feel special and treated the right way in a relationship. But just as girls are stubborn, guys are just a little bit clueless. So take notes boys.

Cover Image Credit:

Maille Dolan

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