This one is for all of my fellow fur baby parents! Though we love our babies, they sure can be a pain. They do the strangest things. They make the funniest faces. They make our lives just that much better.
1. That is not a toy, it's my sock.
It isn't always my sock. Sometimes it's my t-shirt or my underwear. For some reason, you seem to think anything you find in my room or in my hamper is a toy. Please stop. Playing tug of war with you ruins all of my socks.
2. I can't pet you right now, I'm doing homework.
Please, keep your huge paws off my MacBook. Stop grabbing onto my hands with your huge mouth and pulling them towards you. I have homework to do. I'll pet you after.
3. Why're you always hungry?
I could have sworn I just fed you like an hour ago. Why are you scratching your bowl again? Are you hungry or just bored? I eat when I'm bored too.
4. Where's my lint roller?
No, I'm not shedding. My dog is. My black sweater isn't really black anymore and it doesn't matter how many times I wash it. My dog's fur is sort of embedded into it at this point.
5. I can't feel my legs.
This is for the dog owners with human-sized dogs who love to sit on our laps and lay across us. For some reason, my shepherd seems to think she's a lap dog and so does my golden retriever. They lay across my lap and torso at the same time full oblivious to the fact that I'm losing more circulation in my body with every second that passes.
6. I'm broke.
Their food is expensive, and as I mentioned earlier, they eat a lot. Their vet appointments take out a chunk of about $700 minimum if I take them both in one day. Their toys are expensive. Their treats are expensive. Grooming is expensive....
7. I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. My dogs were barking.
I forgot to mention... I have a chihuahua as well. Anyone with a lap
dog will tell you that they are mini devils. They try to make up for their size by being insanely loud and obnoxious. My chihuahua barks at walls, the wind, guests, my other dogs, me, herself... There is no silencing her.
8. That's MY pillow.
All three of my dogs seem to think they are human. None of them can sleep well unless they're cuddled or have a pillow. Strange, I know. On occasion, they find it appropriate to steal my pillow. I'm left to use them as my pillow while they use mine as theirs.
9. Is she/he watching TV or just confused?
I can never tell if my dogs are actually watching TV with me or if they look at the screen because they hear sounds and see shapes that don't really make sense to them. However, I've come to find that my dogs tend to stare whenever I'm watching a movie or show that has other dogs in it. It's like I'm being accused of cheating.
10. It's good to have a loyal pal.
I've never had better friends. They know when I'm sad without me having to say anything. They join in on and contribute to happy times. They cuddle with you when you're sick. They'll never leave you. They may be around for only part of our lives, but we are their entire lives. That is why a dog is man's best friend.