What things make a man gay

11 Things Black Men Can't Do If They Don't Want To Be Gay

Clearly, this is satire.

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There are some traits of toxic masculinity that I will never be able to understand, and quite honestly would be deal breakers for me in a relationship.

This idea that everyday things can make or "mean" someone is gay is incomprehensible. One's sexual orientation is decided at birth, no one flips flops and most everyday activities are in fact, genderless.

I recently came across an old article about the former J. Crew president, Jenna Lyons. She and J. Crew published a photo in an ad with her and her son. In the photo, Lyons was painting her toddler's toenails. The conversation obviously went left as people felt as though her sons' gender development and sexual orientation would be altered, even though scientific studies have said otherwise.

When I myself looked at the add, I saw a toddler who wanted to paint his toenails because he sees his mom do it. It also prompted me to look up the history of nail painting.

According to the web, it was developed in China around 300 B.C and was used in China and then Egypt for class distinction. Rich people wore reds, while poor people wore beige colors. There was nothing about it being for solely for girls.
We as a society decided that this thing we created should just be for girls, but if a child doesn't know or can't comprehend the history of something so frivolous before doing it, how can it speak to (or change) his or her sexual orientation?

This made me think of a handful of other simple things we have allowed ourselves to "gender" when we really didn't need to.

1. Eat bananas.

..without cutting them up into bite sized pieces first. If you can eat a banana the normal way, you probably like to suck dick too. This counts for popsicles and lollipops too. As a matter of fact, stay away from eating anything rectangular or oblong in shape. I know you see the correlation.

2. Wash their ass.

If you are willing to run a soapy rag through your butt cheeks to make sure there isn't poop (from the time you pooped and didn't wipe properly because that's also gay), or some sort of fungus growing back there, then you will probably put anything in your butt...and by "anything," I mean another man's penis. Again, I know you see the correlation.

3. Be vegan/vegetarian or just like vegetables.

Kale is a big no-no! Being raised to eat properly and having the desire to live a healthy life isn't manly at all. In fact, morbid obesity, illnesses like high cholesterol and diabetes, and having a smelly stomach are sexy as hell to women.

4. Be a nurse, teacher or anything that involves caring for other people.

Being able to medically help people, while making decent money is one of the most un-manly things I have ever heard of.

5. Have female or gay friends.

It's not possible for a man to be friends with someone they don't want to have sex with. You're gay if you have platonic friendships with women or gay men in your crew.

6. Not feel uncomfortable around gay or trans men in general.

If you can hang around gay men and not think they want to have sex with you, you're nuts! If you even want to hang out around gay men, you're gay too. There's no way you can just enjoy the company of another people who you get along with or who has the same interests are you without it involving sex or sexuality.

7. Be too fashionable

Manly men don't care about how they look. "Rub some dirt on it." And real women (the ones with long hair) will think you you secretly want to be a girl, if you like to look and smell good. No need to upstate your wardrobe, have shoes that aren't sneakers and a tie.

8. Get a colonoscopy or prostate exam.

Again, doing anything that involves your butt is reserved for gay men. Putting things in their butt is what the entirety of their lives revolve around. Just pray away any polyps and cancerous tumors, and I'm sure you'll be fine. That rectal pain and bleeding will surely take care of itself...

9. Date women with short hair.

Women with short hair clearly want to be men, so if you are dating a woman whose sexuality isn't dependent on something mainstream femininity has deemed important, then you may as well just be with someone who has a penis.

10. Support Feminist movements.

You simply can't. If women wind up socially, politically and economically equal to men, they would ruin everything and make you wear dresses.

11. Seek justice for women who have been sexually abused or mistreated.

Because that would mean you understand and respect a woman's consent and control of her own body, and that you can actively relate this to women that don't happen to be your mother, sister or daughter.

It's time to restructure what we consider the traits of a strong man.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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You Don't Have To See Your Friends Every Day

We all have lives that we're trying to balance.

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For as long as I can remember, whenever I would have no plans and go on Snapchat to see all my friends having fun without me, I would get FOMO. I'd get really sad and think that they didn't care about me because they didn't invite me. It would get me in such a bad mood that it would ruin any chance of going out with someone else who wanted to hang out.

I don't know if it was just my anxiety of people hating me or if it was a fear of missing out (FOMO). Even recently, it has gotten me down. However, over the past month or so, I finally realized something: you don't have to hang out every day to still consider each other friends.

Everyone has a life that they're trying to balance, especially after high school. People work (maybe even more than one job) and go to school. Some have to take care of family members or do things for their family. Some people are focusing on themselves. Some have relationships to maintain. Whatever it is, we all have lives that we're trying to balance.

We all want to have fun, but school, work, and our families are the priorities.

Even if they're out hanging with other people, it doesn't mean that they don't want to hang out with you. Free time is served on a "first come, first serve" basis. It's hard to balance hanging out with multiple people.

I also learned that it doesn't matter the number of friends you have. What truly matters is the quality. Ask yourself, "Who's there for me when I really need someone?" The people who are there for you when you really need someone to talk to are your TRUE friends.

It's not easy to be there for someone and make them feel better. If they offer to listen or give advice, they care!

I know that it may feel like you have no friends sometimes, but that's not true. Life after high school is hard at times. You're an adult. You have to do adult things and take care of yourself first.

You have to realize that everyone has a busy schedule and not all your friends' schedules will align with yours, but that's okay! You don't need to hang out with friends every day to consider them your friends. What truly matters is if they are there for you when you need them.

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