There are some traits of toxic masculinity that I will never be able to understand, and quite honestly would be deal breakers for me in a relationship.
This idea that everyday things can make or "mean" someone is gay is incomprehensible. One's sexual orientation is decided at birth, no one flips flops and most everyday activities are in fact, genderless.
I recently came across an old article about the former J. Crew president, Jenna Lyons. She and J. Crew published a photo in an ad with her and her son. In the photo, Lyons was painting her toddler's toenails. The conversation obviously went left as people felt as though her sons' gender development and sexual orientation would be altered, even though scientific studies have said otherwise.
When I myself looked at the add, I saw a toddler who wanted to paint his toenails because he sees his mom do it. It also prompted me to look up the history of nail painting.
According to the web, it was developed in China around 300 B.C and was used in China and then Egypt for class distinction. Rich people wore reds, while poor people wore beige colors. There was nothing about it being for solely for girls.
We as a society decided that this thing we created should just be for girls, but if a child doesn't know or can't comprehend the history of something so frivolous before doing it, how can it speak to (or change) his or her sexual orientation?
This made me think of a handful of other simple things we have allowed ourselves to "gender" when we really didn't need to.
1. Eat bananas.
..without cutting them up into bite sized pieces first. If you can eat a banana the normal way, you probably like to suck dick too. This counts for popsicles and lollipops too. As a matter of fact, stay away from eating anything rectangular or oblong in shape. I know you see the correlation.
2. Wash their ass.
If you are willing to run a soapy rag through your butt cheeks to make sure there isn't poop (from the time you pooped and didn't wipe properly because that's also gay), or some sort of fungus growing back there, then you will probably put anything in your butt...and by "anything," I mean another man's penis. Again, I know you see the correlation.
3. Be vegan/vegetarian or just like vegetables.
Kale is a big no-no! Being raised to eat properly and having the desire to live a healthy life isn't manly at all. In fact, morbid obesity, illnesses like high cholesterol and diabetes, and having a smelly stomach are sexy as hell to women.
4. Be a nurse, teacher or anything that involves caring for other people.
Being able to medically help people, while making decent money is one of the most un-manly things I have ever heard of.
5. Have female or gay friends.
It's not possible for a man to be friends with someone they don't want to have sex with. You're gay if you have platonic friendships with women or gay men in your crew.
6. Not feel uncomfortable around gay or trans men in general.
If you can hang around gay men and not think they want to have sex with you, you're nuts! If you even want to hang out around gay men, you're gay too. There's no way you can just enjoy the company of another people who you get along with or who has the same interests are you without it involving sex or sexuality.
7. Be too fashionable
Manly men don't care about how they look. "Rub some dirt on it." And real women (the ones with long hair) will think you you secretly want to be a girl, if you like to look and smell good. No need to upstate your wardrobe, have shoes that aren't sneakers and a tie.
8. Get a colonoscopy or prostate exam.
Again, doing anything that involves your butt is reserved for gay men. Putting things in their butt is what the entirety of their lives revolve around. Just pray away any polyps and cancerous tumors, and I'm sure you'll be fine. That rectal pain and bleeding will surely take care of itself...
9. Date women with short hair.
Women with short hair clearly want to be men, so if you are dating a woman whose sexuality isn't dependent on something mainstream femininity has deemed important, then you may as well just be with someone who has a penis.
10. Support Feminist movements.
You simply can't. If women wind up socially, politically and economically equal to men, they would ruin everything and make you wear dresses.
11. Seek justice for women who have been sexually abused or mistreated.
Because that would mean you understand and respect a woman's consent and control of her own body, and that you can actively relate this to women that don't happen to be your mother, sister or daughter.
It's time to restructure what we consider the traits of a strong man.
