What things make a man gay
Start writing a post
Family Friends

11 Things Black Men Can't Do If They Don't Want To Be Gay

Clearly, this is satire.

235
https://unsplash.com/photos/Qk1zWx0vZqY
Steven Van

There are some traits of toxic masculinity that I will never be able to understand, and quite honestly would be deal breakers for me in a relationship.

This idea that everyday things can make or "mean" someone is gay is incomprehensible. One's sexual orientation is decided at birth, no one flips flops and most everyday activities are in fact, genderless.

I recently came across an old article about the former J. Crew president, Jenna Lyons. She and J. Crew published a photo in an ad with her and her son. In the photo, Lyons was painting her toddler's toenails. The conversation obviously went left as people felt as though her sons' gender development and sexual orientation would be altered, even though scientific studies have said otherwise.

When I myself looked at the add, I saw a toddler who wanted to paint his toenails because he sees his mom do it. It also prompted me to look up the history of nail painting.

According to the web, it was developed in China around 300 B.C and was used in China and then Egypt for class distinction. Rich people wore reds, while poor people wore beige colors. There was nothing about it being for solely for girls.
We as a society decided that this thing we created should just be for girls, but if a child doesn't know or can't comprehend the history of something so frivolous before doing it, how can it speak to (or change) his or her sexual orientation?

This made me think of a handful of other simple things we have allowed ourselves to "gender" when we really didn't need to.

1. Eat bananas.

..without cutting them up into bite sized pieces first. If you can eat a banana the normal way, you probably like to suck dick too. This counts for popsicles and lollipops too. As a matter of fact, stay away from eating anything rectangular or oblong in shape. I know you see the correlation.

2. Wash their ass.

If you are willing to run a soapy rag through your butt cheeks to make sure there isn't poop (from the time you pooped and didn't wipe properly because that's also gay), or some sort of fungus growing back there, then you will probably put anything in your butt...and by "anything," I mean another man's penis. Again, I know you see the correlation.

3. Be vegan/vegetarian or just like vegetables.

Kale is a big no-no! Being raised to eat properly and having the desire to live a healthy life isn't manly at all. In fact, morbid obesity, illnesses like high cholesterol and diabetes, and having a smelly stomach are sexy as hell to women.

4. Be a nurse, teacher or anything that involves caring for other people.

Being able to medically help people, while making decent money is one of the most un-manly things I have ever heard of.

5. Have female or gay friends.

It's not possible for a man to be friends with someone they don't want to have sex with. You're gay if you have platonic friendships with women or gay men in your crew.

6. Not feel uncomfortable around gay or trans men in general.

If you can hang around gay men and not think they want to have sex with you, you're nuts! If you even want to hang out around gay men, you're gay too. There's no way you can just enjoy the company of another people who you get along with or who has the same interests are you without it involving sex or sexuality.

7. Be too fashionable

Manly men don't care about how they look. "Rub some dirt on it." And real women (the ones with long hair) will think you you secretly want to be a girl, if you like to look and smell good. No need to upstate your wardrobe, have shoes that aren't sneakers and a tie.

8. Get a colonoscopy or prostate exam.

Again, doing anything that involves your butt is reserved for gay men. Putting things in their butt is what the entirety of their lives revolve around. Just pray away any polyps and cancerous tumors, and I'm sure you'll be fine. That rectal pain and bleeding will surely take care of itself...

9. Date women with short hair.

Women with short hair clearly want to be men, so if you are dating a woman whose sexuality isn't dependent on something mainstream femininity has deemed important, then you may as well just be with someone who has a penis.

10. Support Feminist movements.

You simply can't. If women wind up socially, politically and economically equal to men, they would ruin everything and make you wear dresses.

11. Seek justice for women who have been sexually abused or mistreated.

Because that would mean you understand and respect a woman's consent and control of her own body, and that you can actively relate this to women that don't happen to be your mother, sister or daughter.

It's time to restructure what we consider the traits of a strong man.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

97613
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments