I think we have all at one point complained about the wifi any school provides its students. So a couple of nights ago I asked my friends Taylor, Michael, and Jessie what they thought was better than our school's wifi and wrote them down. Obviously its an exaggeration. Enjoy!
1. Price on cafeteria food.
Do people really want to pay $8 for a salad? Not really. But we need to do something productive in our lives. Since the internet is practically nonexistent, eating your problems away is always a good substitute. You might be able to blog it at 3 am once the wifi decides to function.
2. Waiting to print at the library.
You know that bad decision you get every once in awhile that, yes you can print something five minutes before class without a hassle? Yeah, still better than waiting for the wifi to let you see your online textbook.
3. Burning your new pants in the things they call a dryer.
Man those were the best pants that you have ever worn in your life. Unfortunately, even on low, the dryer decided to burn you just like the wifi. At least you can get new pants. The wifi just laughs at you.
4. Dropping an ice cream cone on the sidewalk.
Let's face it. You are in college and broke. You will probably pick up what remains of the ice cream and continue to eat it. When the wifi doesn't work you just sit there. Staring at your screen. For an eternity.
5. 8 am. Everyday.
Because by the time that class ends, your email might be open.
6. Being attacked by squirrels.
No lie, the squirrels are everywhere at my school and are prone to try and take food right out of your hands. But hey, at least its quick. Unlike the wifi.
7. Looking for a parking spot for 40 minutes.
Just as frustrating and likely a cause of lost friendships, but again much quicker and less agonizing then trying to download a pdf.
8. Your phone falling in the toilet.
Because in the time it takes for you fish your phone out of the toilet, put it in that trusty bag of rice, and pray it turns on...an app might update.
9. Having your roommate kick you out for sexy times.
Because when your roommate kicks you out you might be able to find some friends to share in your woes. Actually no this is equally as frustrating, don't do this to a person.
10. Watching water boil.
Yeah it might be boring to the point you might actually read a real book, but maybe you might have some kind of philosophical vision and change the world. It could happen.
BONUS: Invading Russia in the winter.
Because even in both Napoleon and Hitler failed, by the time you fail too, your download will be ready for that homework that was due two weeks ago.
